YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? - Why ask that serious question to a person who is already laughing? I had a few coaches over the years stop what they were doing to ask me, ”Do you think this is funny, Frederick?” I would mostly respond, “I absolutely don’t find anything about you to be funny, coach. I was thinking about something else.”
Last week Clinton Portis of the Redskins was asked about his buddy, Michael Vick, and dog fighting. Portis made light of the sound bite and the Redskins had to issue a statement that they did not condone dog fighting and if you saw their defense play over the last three years you would have to agree with them. Portis appeared to see all this hound hype and resultant “apoplexic apologies” as a bit of the double standard because, in backroad Mississippi, there are dog fights every night for your gambling entertainment. But because it’s Michael Vick and what ESPN commentator Stephen A. Smith called “Vick’s knucklehead family,” it’s a national story.
SUBWAY SLUGGER - Kircus is now in the middle of a media circus. A Denver Broncos reserve wideout, David Kircus, who was in the NFL then worked at Subway before coming back and making the Bronco’s roster, allegedly broke a man’s face when he was asked to leave a party. Kircus is the second Bronco receiver arrested this month. Brandon Marshall was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence. Google “NFL assault charges” and you’ll be able to select an entire fantasy team of lawbreakers. I do know something about late at night, high-performance football players who are drunk, and that is they don’t mind hitting people, and when large, fit athletes hit someone they stay hit for a long time.
SENSITIVE FAT GUYS - Brian Mockenhaupt, a former Army sergeant, in an article “The Army We Have,” writes about pulling reluctant manpower from a population of 17- to 24-year-olds where seven out of 10 are disqualified for being physically or morally unfit, or not being able to pass a simple mental test. According to this well-written article which appears factually accurate and not politically biased, there are just so many out of shape young people and they can’t take that harsh “Full Metal Jacket” approach to boot camp.
I am a sports guy who moves like Jupiter through a solar system of fit people and that is the majority of my world, but I think the fast food world and outlet mall world have different clientele.
TWO DOGS COACH - The football team appears to own the concession stand at Wesley College, so when I went for two boiled wieners tightly wrapped in aluminum foil - as if protected from nuclear attack - I was not surprised to find head football coach and athletic director Mike Drass working in the stand.
Now if I won 13 games a year and was Coach of the Year in Delaware, why am I selling hot dogs inside some little booth? I haven’t sold them in my lifetime, so probably not, but Mike Drass is smart and where better to meet people and talk about your program than to be the hot dog guy? I’d buy a lot of hot dogs if K.C. Keeler of Delaware were selling them.
Wesley College will have two, four-day football camps for students entering 7th through 12th grade this summer. The first camp is on June 18-21 at Wolverine Stadium in Dover, and the second camp is on July 16-19 at Sussex Technical High School justs west of Georgetown. Both camps are from 8:45 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. You can register early by downloading a camp brochure or signing up online at the website athletics.wesley.edu/football/fourday-camps.html. Students also can register at 8 a.m. the first day of the camp.
I DON’T LIKE CAMPS - I once went to a Boy Scout camp where I was involved in a cheating scandal trying to move from the rank of Tenderfoot to Second Class. If I live to be 100 I will never be able to tie a clove hitch or sheep shank or anything beyond a slippery square not that can’t be trusted.
”The rest of the family attained second class status honestly,” my grandmother said. “Now we’re stuck owning up to your low class self.”
But seriously I never liked camps and I still don’t, which is why I never worked at a sports camp or sportswriter’s camp or attended the dreaded no contact football camp for offensive lineman. Now it seems kids spend more summer time at camps than they do at home and I wonder why? Actually I think I know why!
SNIPPETS - There is the Masser 5-Miler race will be held this Sunday, May 27 at 8 a.m. with kids races to follow at 9 a.m.
The inaugural Dewey Beach Liquors 5K, the first on the Seven Sisters summer running series, will be held Monday, May 28 at 8.a.m The race will assemble at the Bottle and Cork in Dewey Beach. Get there early if you are not registered, or go to the website races2run.com for information on all the summer races.
I am lusting for a lawn tractor because they are cool I’m thinking Kubota cause it sounds like Komodo and heaven knows my butt is dragin’ when I cut the crab grass and sticks and Frisbees and whatever else gets in my way.
