BETTER WATCH OUT! - Soon after the Race for Danielle Guerin 5K race last Saturday morning, as I wrestled with a one or two soft pretzel decision, 70-year-old relentless racer Ron Baunchak, who runs in the 26-minute range, patted my belly and said, ”You better watch out.”
I was hoping he was starting a fight because I know I could kick his bony, in-shape butt. I was so depressed I drove straight to Wawa for a pork roll and cheese breakfast beagle - I mean bagel.
Twenty years ago I referred to a Time Out Sports 5K as a “run a little, pay a lot” race. The running community wanted to kill me, but without weapons of large mass destruction most of those atom-sized particles would simply bounce off Mr. Super Collider. I have since changed my opinion and I think all road races are a bargain if they motivate and inspire to get up early and go challenge themselves. There is no price tag to put on heath. Would you rather pay a personal trainers who knows what they are doing $60 a session, or $15 for one who doesn’t know much?
If you want to see the result of a low-bid decision, just look at the soon-to-be-torn-down Cape Henlopen High School.
BRING A COOLER - My grandmother always told me, “If anyone ever hands you a brochure for a fundraiser always scan it quickly for the phrase ‘bring a cooler’ and, if you find it, go back and start at the beginning.”
Circle June 15 on your magnetic refrigerator calendar and by 3 p.m. you should be at the Lighthouse Restaurant along the canal in Lewes - or what local dogs call “Wharf! Wharf!” The Flight for Life fundraiser for the American Cancer Society features Capt. Speed Harry Lackhove who will parasail behind the Cutty Cuz from Cape May to Lewes. Tickets aboard the “Celebration,” one of Capt. Dale’s boats, can be secured by calling 645-TUNA. If a large woman answers hang up. This happening for a good cause hopes to raise $10,000 that will be funneled into the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life program. In the unlikely event of a “kite swirly twirl and headfirst dive by an octogenarian” mishap, I will secure Speed quotes before liftoff to see if, in fact, that is the way he would have chosen to fly to the far side.
YOU SHOULD WANT TO - An athletic-looking young black man wearing a gold jacket that read “Cape Henlopen State Track Champions” stood in line at a doughnut shop at Midway. I stood behind him, a virtual unknown in the local community of sports and kids, but I knew that was going to change. The year was 1975 and now 32 years later I still don’t understand why anyone would become a public school teacher if they didn’t want to get community involved with kids and families. It is a calling, I believe, a ministry, and if I were interviewing teachers that would be the first thing I would look for - smart people who look outward - because there is nothing worse than a teacher or coach who thinks it’s all about them.
UNIFIED TEAMS - A Unified Bowling Tournament took place some years ago at Midway. Unified means special athletes and others not special on combination teams. The tournament began with the Olympic rings and theme and a little march. It brought tears to the eyes of a bowler who can’t break 100.
Special athlete Todd had an orange, day-glow bowling ball that rolled imperceptively but assuredly down the alley like the setting sun itself. Everyone was freeze frame frozen as the ball went into a crowd of pins nudging three to their sides so gently that not a sound was heard.
“Good job, Todd” and there were handshakes all around. This is not some “special people are put here for us to learn from Hook
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them” cliché. This is about losing perspective in athletics and forgetting that the spirit of competition begins with respect.
TORCH RUN - The Special Olympic annual competitions are this Friday and Saturday, June 8-9, at the University of Delaware in Newark. The Law Enforcement Torch Run will begin Wednesday, June 6, at the Bandstand on Rehoboth Avenue. The First State Force band will begin playing at 7 p.m. and the torch will be brought in by motorcycle at 7:30. More than 450 police officers will participate in the torch run and over the last 21 years the event has raised $2.1 million to support Delaware Special Olympics. And let’s be honest - you can’t know too many cops!
SUPER HOT - I am not so stupid as to write about a female athlete and refer to her as super hot unless she is sweating like my Aunt Rose over a vat of potato salad. But a press release promoting the Friday, June 15 Fighting Stewarts card at the Delaware State Fairgrounds Ice Arena has promoted Olivia Fonseca as super hot. I was a high school teacher for 35 years so I’ve seen lots of pretty girls fight and, in fact, I refereed a few bouts from bantam to heavyweight. Ted Nugent wrote “Cat Scratch Fever” and everyone knows the melody but the lyrics are so wrong!
SNIPPETS - If you’re a long-suffering Phillies fan and a ninth- inning reliever starts serving up walks with a one-run lead you begin to have Mitch Williams flashbacks. Shane Victorino’s walk-off homer in the bottom of the ninth inning against the Giants last Sunday saved my fan loyalty to at least the All-Star game. I do believe the Phils are aggressively mediocre.
There is a certain irony to having Jeff Conrad as the Cape graduation speaker Tuesday night because Jeff is a former Army Ranger and the site looks like an Army Ranger training ground. I expect Conrad to emerge from submerged in the middle of a muddy moat before walking to the stage. Seriously, Jeff, a graduate of Georgetown University, is a rock hard real guy, and even though I let go of him during ocean rescue training on the RBP 30 years ago to save myself – I thought a clear jellyfish was a shark - I just always loved the guy. That is quite enough about the pompous circumstances of my life.
Go on now, git!
