BEE POLLEN - Was that a girl I knew from Bristol many years ago? Actually, bee pollen was sold out of plastic jugs at track meets by Steve Riddick, the world class 100-meter Philadelphia-area sprinter who cruised scholastic track venues in the 70s and early ‘80s openly selling the stuff which supposedly made fast people run faster. Lots of bees on my tail make me run faster and longer.
I had coached track with a guy, Chris Dwyer, who gave runners dextrose tablets telling them they were cheetah droppings and they would make them run faster and it worked because the placebo effect is well-documented - just ask the drug companies.
This all bring me to Marion Jones, whose fall from grace makes her Grace Jones except Marion can’t sing. She is singing now to prosecutors, but still lying saying she lied when she said she hadn’t taken performance- enhancing drugs because now she knows she knew what she didn’t know then, which is a line stolen from a Toby Keith song. Jones, who made $4 million a year as the sprinting beauty with the gorgeous smile, was also involved in a check-cashing scam with Tim Montgomery, a former world class sprinter and father of her child, and the bee pollen guy from my track past Steve Riddick. Jones said she is now broke then left court in a black limo, no doubt on her way to the Ophrah show so they can cry together. Just keep The Clear off “The View.”
PERFORMANCE ENHANCEMENT - Comedian Sinbad tells a story of staring at a woman on the beach and his wife saying, “What are you looking at Mr. Dog? Don’t you know they ain’t real?”
Sinbad tells the audience, “Don’t they know that we don’t care?”
I spend time in gyms and in the fitness world and I deal with lots of physically and chemically enhanced people - some through surgery and others supplements and drugs. I think BALCO should market The Clear because, as a six-time grandpop, I’d consent to having it rubbed and rolled onto my body like linoleum liniment, then I’d stand back and accept all the compliments before entering the senior Olympic home run derby. But seriously, folks today with all the elective surgery - augmentation and stapling - and prescription performance drugs advertised on television and in football stadiums, the only Mr. Natural left is driving a truck of water jugs.
SQUARE UP AND COLLISION - Alignments, adjustments, keys and responsibilities - coaching points and words that should all mean something to the defensive football player. Square up the shoulders, take on blockers and collision ball carriers all while staying in a good football position.
Cape yielded 49 points to Caesar Rodney last Friday night as running backs rolled like numbered boulders over the Cape defense. Five games played and a record of 1-4 and a Cape defense that is giving up 42 points a game through the first half of the season.
Are the players that bad and, if so, start replacing them? Is the defensive scheme that wrong and, if so, change it?
Personally, I believe Cape has the athletes and warriors to sting the Spartans of St. Mark’s this Saturday, Oct. 13. St. Mark’s beat Dover last Friday 10-0 - and I’d start by grading every defensive player on the CR film and those falling below 70 would have to yield their position. And no weighted grades because Advanced Placement isn’t real - football is real.
POP GUN BETTER RUN - There is more drama and angst and storylines when a mediocre pro football team loses a lot than if they are medium horrible. The Ravens’ win over the 49ers last Sunday saw more passes for less than 10 yards than I’ve seen since my grandmother waved all her 26 grandchildren to go long then threw the ball five yards and remarked how stupid we were to think a 70 year old woman could chunk a football 70 yards. A long pass was relative to arm strength and pressure of the rush. McNair and Dilfer quarterbacking professional offenses is the best out there? The Ravens host the 0-5 Rams this Sunday (Oct. 14) and, in case you have a sleeping disorder, you may want to catch it on high definition.
ELAPSING TIME - I enjoy watching high school soccer and field hockey because the clock runs backwards and rarely stops except for time outs which are rarely called. Pro Football often takes 90 minutes to play a half of 30 minutes, so if you don’t drink just exactly what are you supposed to do during down time?
“The dead man’s trap” is an educational term meaning never reward a student for doing what a dead person could do.
“Fredman, if Alonzo and me just sit there and don’t talk or look around or start any trouble will you pass us?”
“Absolutely!”
That is why football guys are the worst cardio-conditioned guys of all the professionals, although I’d hate to see Ryan Howard run the mile.
SNIPPETS – Don’t swim in warm ponds no matter how clear the water. How about a sign that reads: "Warning! Active gator and amoeba area! Swim if you can!” Yes, you would think it was a joke but an amoeba up your nose will eat your brain and it has happened in a dozen reported cases this summer.
The Phillies Flop was painful to watch which is why I bailed for game three and watched Florida at LSU. I particularly like the signed carried by an LSU coed which read: If you don’t get it, you just don’t get it!”
Did you know that Mark Shapiro, general manager of the Cleveland Indians now playing the Yankees, and Eric Mangini, head coach of the New York Jets about to play the Eagles, are brothers-in law? Now you know something that none of the national media has picked up because they are too busy showing great insight into the obvious for the oblivious.
Kael Kerlick is the name of the Cape kid, a transfer newly arrived doing the back handsprings fronting the football cheerleaders down on the track. Kael was easily voted “Best Athlete in the Stadium,” according to an informal halftime poll of multiple hot dog eaters at the Caesar Rodney game. That final back flip, half twist, round off was downright gymnastic and God knows how many little children labored through years of gymnastics before putting both feet down! No more Mommy! You cartwheel the balance beam you like it so much!
