What’s your worth ?

What’s Your WORTH?

Earlier in my TV career, I was negotiating a new contract when my mentor said to me, “Patty, know your worth!” I walked into that negotiation determined to prove my worth to those in the room. I came out with a decent contract—but from that point on, my entire sense of worth became wrapped up in my career, my contract, and all the toxicity that came with it. That’s what I believed I was WORTH.

I had a great career—it was exciting, I met some of the most fascinating people, shared amazing stories, and made the best friends of my life. But I ground it out for years, singularly focused on achieving what I thought I deserved. I was creating shows, running shows, and launching shows all at the same time. At one point, I was the Executive Producer and Showrunner of TWO nationally syndicated shows simultaneously, producing over 300 hours of content a year. WOW—I was really proving my WORTH.

From the outside, it looked like success, but it was slowly destroying me.

The problem with putting your worth in other people’s hands is that when you lose it, you feel WORTHLESS.

When The Doctors ended, and weeks later I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was the darkest time of my life. I couldn’t work. For the first time in almost 20 years, I wasn’t an Executive Producer. I was sick and I felt WORTHLESS.

After my bilateral mastectomy, I jumped back into pitching a new show. I sat in meetings with execs and networks, doing my “dog and pony show,” desperately trying to convince them that I was worth taking a chance on. I was miserable. I was working on my pitch when a notification popped up: Good News About Turmeric. I clicked it, read it, and fell into a rabbit hole of health news. I was captivated and I felt a spark of genuine interest and curiosity reignite within me. THIS is what I was interested in.

Suddenly, in the middle of it all, I realized—I was WORTH MORE. It was the most liberating moment of my life.

I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but I knew something had to change. I asked myself: What am I truly worth? Who or what am I worthy to?

I realized I’d worked tirelessly my entire life to “prove my worth,” yet when everything fell apart, the people who were truly there for me were my family and friends. That’s when I knew I needed to redefine what worth meant to me.

We moved from LA to Delaware and planned to open Hiatus 24: Hot Yoga, Pilates, and a wellness cafe. When I told people, they said, “For someone looking to have less stress, you’re opening a new business?!”

Yes—and it’s been the most profound journey of my life.

I want to be clear—I had a great career, and for a lot of years, it was all worth it. But I’m a completely different person now than I was as that 23-year-old producer whose motto was work hard, play hard. If anything, The Doctors saved my life. I took over that show 30 lbs overweight, a smoker, and an alcoholic who never took care of myself. I quit drinking, quit smoking, changed my diet, and started working out daily. That changes you—and it changes how you think about your worth.

The last few years of The Doctors, I was miserable—but I felt stuck because I thought this is what I’m worth. What was worthy in my 20s, 30s, and early 40s no longer worked for me.

I wanted to start a business around health and wellness because THAT’S what interested me. The chronic stress was literally killing me because I wasn’t doing what I was worth.

Starting your own business—in a new state, in an industry you’re unfamiliar with—is not for the faint of heart. It’s been stressful, scary, and a steep learning curve, with plenty of mistakes along the way. BUT—every single day, I walk into Hiatus 24, I feel SO PROUD of myself and my family for fighting to create a new life that works for us now. It’s been hard. But it’s also been soul saving, joyful, and transformational.

All of this is to say: I have never felt more WORTHY.

And now I ask you… What’s YOUR worth?