Are you losing your mind?

Retired people spend half their time looking for things. My husband just used my cellphone to call his cellphone, which usually works, except this time he left his phone at the clubhouse. I called his phone and another resident, Gary, answered it. He will be right there, I said.

I am no better. I lose my glasses all the time and wish someone would invent a way for me to call them. They could have little tracking devices embedded in the frames and voice activation housed in a hearing aid behind my ear. “Where are my glasses?” I command from the safety of my favorite reading chair.

Beep. Why does that sound so close? Am I sitting on them?

No, my husband smirks, “Feel the top of your head.”

Just yesterday, my friend Michael and I met for lunch, and as soon as the waiter seated us, Michael said, “I can’t find my car keys. I will be right back.” In a few minutes he returns with the keys.

“They were in my pocket.”

Not your fault, mon ami. Remember when coats had just two pockets? And purses had only one?

My friend Irene is worried she might have Alzheimer’s. “I can remember the names of the dancers on ‘American Bandstand,’ but I can barely recall what I did last week.”

I know when you have this disease you forget everyday household items. My friend Carolyn was upset recently because she forgot the name of asparagus. I don’t think asparagus is a household item, do you?

They say puzzles increase your memory skills. I just bought one of those matching games for my new grandchild. The cards have pictures of apples and tulips and kittens printed on them. Maybe we should market this game for seniors. The pictures could be of everyday household items like Ben Gay, pill boxes and 60 Minute IPA. We could invite friends over and take their pictures with our cellphones and create face cards so we remember their names when they visit again.

Alzheimer’s disease is tragically different from losing car keys. Symptoms usually first appear after age 65. Some experts suggest that as many as 5 million Americans age 65 and older may have Alzheimer’s disease. My grandmother had it, and whenever I visited her she thought I was her grandson. She never had any grandsons - just six granddaughters. It broke my mother’s heart and mine to see her become unrecognizable as well.

There is a popular book and soon-to-be-released movie titled “Still Alice,” which is about Alice Howland, a 50-year-old cognitive psychology professor at Harvard who suffers with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Beverly Beckham of The Boston Globe wrote of it, “After I read ‘Still Alice’ I wanted to stand up and tell a train full of strangers, ‘You have to get this book’.” It was on the New York Times Best Sellers List for more than 40 weeks. It has been sold in 30 countries and translated into more than 20 languages. Another book to download to my Kindle!

My next column will be about pets and retirees. Does your pet keep you from traveling more? What are the benefits to owning pets in retirement? Write to me atlgraff1979@gmail.com.