Can’t stay in the closet without a water fountain

Weird in a word way - A few years back after a road race, some women I know asked me to take a group photo of their running group the “Delaqueers.” Everyone was laughing, my joke file downloaded a couple hundred, but I stayed silent following the comedic rule, “if you ain’t one, don’t make jokes about one.”  Last week WNBA star and Olympian and perhaps Delaware’s most successful athlete ever Elena Delle Donne “came out” publicly prior to a Vogue magazine article about to hit the newsstands from New York to Browseabout. (Queer Culture is now an accepted description for those who rock it). Here’s a quote from the Huffington Post: “Delle Donne told reporters in Rio ahead of the 2016 Olympics that Vogue went to the home she shares with fiancé Amanda Clifton for the interview, according to ESPN, and she wanted Clifton to be a part of the experience.” I was like, “Not my Amanda Clifton, the Cape student who never called me Fredman, but always Mr. Frederick?” Turns out it wasn’t that Amanda Clifton. I was once teaching a class - and only once - and mentioned to them that a congressman came out of the closet after eight years. It was Roxanne McKinney who said, “You need to stop telling stories, Fredman, ain’t nobody staying in no closet for eight years. Did he have a water fountain in there?”

Highway to the Danger Zone - We are conditioned to expect others to build safety measures into organized athletic activities, and certainly if there is a chance that through competition we may get maimed or die some governing body will refuse to sanction the activity. The Olympic bike races in Rio were treacherous, the climbs ridiculous and the downhills were insane. Bodies flying, bones being broken, going down a mountain at 50 mph in the rain on a bike, making 90-degree turns, qualified as death defying. Gymnastics is another sport that if you step back from exquisite athletes doing unimaginable acrobatic feats - how do they even remember when to flip and twist? - you wonder how someone doesn’t break their neck. Rugby Sevens has been a fan favorite, especially on the women’s side, and although at first glance rugby appears to risk injury with every tackle, the sport is more safe than soccer where players dive more often than Greg Louganis. 

Team handball - Handball is a great game on a small court played inside. I’m not sure why it hasn’t caught on in America. There is one Cape letter winner in soccer and track and field who also has a silver medal in team handball as a member of the Swedish Olympic team. Axel Sjoblad was an exchange student at Cape circa 1984-85. He’s been back to visit once or twice to visit his buddy Don Lockwood. Axel did a great impression of my walk and talk, but back in Sweden his friends simply ask, “Is that supposed to be one of the muppets?”

Less talk is always better - A rule of public speaking is “brevity is a virtue,” and I don’t care who you are the attention span of the listener is limited. Sports commentators are gross violators of this rule, thinking they have to fill up all dead space with their erudite observations. I watched the USA versus Argentina field hockey game from my garage - I am after all Mr. Field Hockey in the 302 - and I know Mike Corey, the announcer who, used to do Delaware football games on radio. Mike is great but the commentary on the game was unrelenting, just like soccer, not much scoring and lots of talking. The USA was set to play the Australians Monday morning, Aug. 8. The Aussies call themselves the Hockeyroos because the rugby team has already taken Wallabies.

Snippets - High school sports practices begin Monday, Aug. 15. This is the week for athletes to make sure all their required forms, from physical to insurance and parent permission, are on file in whatever school office files them. Football players are the most notorious lollygaggers when it comes to “I ain’t got no physical.” Part of the procrastination is planned to avoid as many August practices as possible. Coaches should also show up in shape and stay that way because the season is a grind and the mind works better when the head is screwed on to a fit body. The same goes for sportswriters. I may not be in the best of shape, which reminds me, only one week before my self-imposed no hotdog rule goes into effect for the high school football season. I once ate 14 over five straight days of football and that was showing restraint – I think I need wiener weaning. And remember the DIAA handbook stipulates that an athlete’s allegiance is to the school team first. Each coach and team has their own policy on this matter. Check it out if you plan to keep traveling about. Go on now, git!