Christmas carol parodies and more

In keeping with long-standing tradition, here are the annual Christmas carol golf parodies. 

Versions of these song spoofs have appeared in this column’s previous Christmas editions.

I hope you enjoy them.

Best wishes to you and yours for the holiday season!

AWAY IN A BUNKER
(As sung to "Away in a Manger")

Away in a bunker,
The little ball lay.
My tee shot went wide right,
Bad words did I say.

I looked at that golf ball
down where it did lay,
It looked like a fried egg.
A safe shot? "No way."

The caddie was laughing,
My partners just smiled.
They knew that my trap shots
Were weak or too wild.

I swung with my sand wedge
The sand it did fly
The ball popped up also,
And rolled by my side.

I need some real guidance,
I need some help quick.
I can’t play this shot, so
I’m writing St. Nick.

THE PRO SHOP
(As sung to "Silver Bells")

See the pro shop,
Busy golf shop,
Decked in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.

Golfers laughing, players putting,
Buying clubs with a smile.
And at ev’ry sales counter you hear:

CHORUS:
Silver bells, silver bells,
It’s Christmas time in the pro shop.
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring,
Cash registers sing all day.

WE THE CLUBS OF TITLEIST ARE
(As sung to "We Three Kings of Orient Are")

We the clubs of Titleist are,
You will hit our Drivers so far,
Many lofts for you to choose from,
Following “Golf Talk Live."

CHORUS:
Oh, clubs of wonder, clubs of might,
Clubs with special features bright,
Selling hope for our next tee shot,
Guide us to the perfect drive.

CLUB PROS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH
(As sung to "Angels we have heard on high")

Club pros we have heard on high,
Shouting loudly o’er the range
And their students in reply,
Harken to their anxious strains.

CHORUS:
Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I’ll watch the ball for you.

Keep yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down,
Yo-ur head down, I said.
I will watch the ball for you.

PUTTING WOES
(As sung to "Silent Night")

Putt-ing woes!
Putt-ing woes!
All’s not calm, All’s not bright.
After three putts missed
I’m fit to be tied, 
The first two went short and
The last one just wide.
Make this fourth putt, oh please, please
Ma-ke this fo-urth putt, please.

HERE WE GO A-GOLF-ING
(As sung to "Here we come a-caroling")

Here we go a-golf-ing
Among the fairways green;
Here we go a-wandering,
No bad shots to be seen:

CHORUS:
Love and joy come to you,
And to you fun golfing, too;
And God bless you and
Send you a happy New Year,
And God send you a happy New Year.

Last-minute gift ideas

If you’re still stuck for Christmas gift ideas, consider a donation to Folds of Honor. The 501(c)(3) organization supplies scholarship funds to the spouses and children of members of the military as well as civilian first responders who died or were disabled while in service.

I last wrote about the group in May after my PGA Show interview with Nancy Lopez, one of its new board members.

At the local level, retired Marine Maj. Rob Robinson of Milton organized a successful FOH fundraiser event at The Rookery Nov. 11, and netted more than $32,000. More than 100 golfers participated.

Robinson said the 2025 event will also be held Nov. 11 at The Rookery. Businesses interested in joining the crowd of sponsors can email robrobinson78@verizon.net. You can also donate directly to Folds of Honor by going to its donation page at foldsofhonor.org.

You can also consider donating to the First Tee of Delaware, which serves thousands of children throughout the state. Using golf, its rules, its standards and its culture, First Tee helps instill core values and healthy life habits such as honesty, integrity, responsibility and judgment. 

To make a tax-deductible donation to First Tee of Delaware, call 302-384-8759 or go to thefirstteedelaware.org.