Consider feeding the positive dog

A man goes to the village to visit the wise man and he says to the wise man, “I feel like there are two dogs inside me. One dog is this positive, loving, kind, and gentle dog, and then I have this angry, mean-spirited, and negative dog, and they fight all the time. I don’t know which is going to win.”

The wise man thinks for a moment and says, “I know which is going to win. The one you feed the most, so feed the positive dog.” - From “The Energy Bus” by Jon Gordon.

My neighbor Joe says: “In retirement, we meet all sorts of new people in a variety of social situations. Some folks seem to be happy and grateful, while others are negative and critical. Consider feeding the positive dog in retirement; it keeps life more interesting and joyful, and your happiness will positively influence others.”

I am finding it increasingly difficult to feed the positive dog, given the current state of world affairs.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” says William Shakespeare.

In her Huffington Post article (Dec. 12, 2016), “6 Tricks to becoming a more positive thinker,” Lindsay Holmes writes, “Research suggests that our happiness is more of a choice than purely influenced by circumstance. And as the Shakespeare quote above implies ... a negative attitude may appear to be the logical reaction, but that doesn’t mean we have to adopt one. It isn’t hard to be one of those people who looks on the bright side of life, but it might take some practice.”

Trick one: Don’t be a Pollyanna!

“Part of effectively adopting this mindset is training yourself to become a realistic optimist,” says positivity expert Joffrey Suprina, PhD, dean of the College of Behavioral Sciences at Argosy University. “Positive thinkers really are individuals who recognize both the bright side and the negative, but they choose to focus their energy and time on the side that’s going to promote the most positive outcome.”

Trick two: Practice Awareness. “The difference between those who see the positive over the negative also lies in their observations,” Suprina says. “Positive-minded individuals squash the ANTs, or automatic negative thoughts, as soon as they start to appear. They don’t go down that rabbit hole of negativity - they catch it and reverse it around.”

Those ANTS have camped out in my brain too many times. I think, How dare she? How dare he? I have the power to reverse it, but I let those ants bite.

Trick three: Avoid Labeling. “In order to achieve this type of thought process, we also need to let go of judgment,” says Suprina. “In our society we have this tendency to label something as either good or wrong [so quickly].”

I have given up watching the morning news, and instead listen to the birds sing. Everyone is constantly judging everyone else. I don’t recall being that way when I was younger. It is habitual and destructive.

Trick four: Feed your positivity by spending time with family and friends. I suggest a sunset cruise on the Cape Water Taxi. New tours include the East End lighthouse and a Discover the Bay tour leaving from the Lewes ferry terminal. Picture yourself smiling and waving to total strangers along the historic Lewes shoreline.

Trick five: Engage in uplifting conversations with yourself. “Good morning, Lisa! You are lucky to be retired. Now go to an aqua strength training in the community pool. You are strong and loved.”

Trick six: Surround yourself with positive people - like my nice neighbor Joe.