Eat less often and fewer things that once went “Moo!” or “Oink!”
Big peeps - I take chances, like any crazy journalist with a camera. I was standing inside Club Fitness Dec. 20, talking to my dog, Trainer Dave, when three members of the Large Guys for Life tribe walked straight into my life. I felt at home, like nephews I had never known had dropped in at a Big Fred Head backyard barbecue carrying bowls of potato salad. Looking at the camera from right to left are Drew Cassidy from Millsboro, 6-8, 400 pounds, Don Hutson from Milford, 5-11, 395, and Joe McCarthy from Lewes, 6-3, 325. “Sure, put the short fat guy in the middle,” Hutson joked. I shared my theory with these men reflecting on my own behavior that people in gyms don't always do what they need to do but what they like to do. I figured guys built like heavy equipment at an excavation site would be into maxing out on the bench press, but no, each of them has a goal and target for weight loss. McCarthy has already lost 75 pounds by following the proven big-guy program of eat less and less often and fewer things that once went "Moo!" and "Oink!" now buried in buns. Cassidy and Hutson have targeted 50 pounds of weight loss and once there will re-evaluate. Personally - I ain't gonna lie, yo - I find major weight loss slightly less satisfying than an Italian hoagie.
Empty box - The box may be empty, but at least it's wrapped with stupid Christmas paper. Every year of my 35 teaching high school kids, I'd bring in an empty box before Christmas vacation and tell my students to just drop my presents in there on their way to gingerbread fairyland but not to make any emotional speeches. They all got the joke that the box was to remain empty, which it did for 35 years. Elementary school teachers get all kinds of gifts from kids - as well they should - because at the end of the process when kids graduate from high school, those teachers tend to be lost in the rear-view mirror, but they matter the most when you factor in time spent over student years lived multiplied by the age of the teacher and I don't know what I'm talking about. A sincere thank you is the best gift you can give any teacher, except for maybe pizza coupons.
I'm the quicker hooker-upper - Please don't hang on that word "hooker." It was comedian Tom Lehrer who joked in a song about Boy Scouts, “Never do a good deed unless someone's watching you.” And so I used my media connection to hook up the DeStasio family with four tickets and a parking pass to the Jets at Eagles game Dec. 18. Mike even agreed to wear a Vick Atlanta No. 7 jersey under Wayne Chrebet No. 80. Just too bad the Jets got housed, dismantled by an Eagles team that leads the league in excessive and annoying celebrations. I didn't know the family had made signs, Mike holding one up that read “The Eagles support ALS patients” and right next to it “But we're still Jets fans.”
Daily News jive - The story broke Dec. 20. Bill Conlin, the 77-year-old Hall of Fame baseball writer and columnist, resigned abruptly from the Philadelphia Daily News after a shocking story broke in the Philadelphia Inquirer about Conlin (Uncle Bill) molesting children 40 years ago, including his own niece, who is now a prosecutor. Bill graduated from Temple University in 1961. I turned on “Daily News Live” on Channel 29 and four veteran sports guys refused to talk about the Conlin case, and in a minute these nonathletic people with no coaching experience were talking about red zone offense and wide 9 defense and I screamed “Who cares? What about the Philly press box perv?" I mean, what the heck is that all about? Philadelphia Daily News editor Larry Platt, who accepted Conlin’s retirement, told the Inquirer: "I can't even begin to express the shock, sadness and outrage I feel by what Bill Conlin is alleged to have done." Ya think?
Snippets - NFL teams proved last weekend that good teams often don't show up for crucial contests, and it's nice to know that professionals are at least as crazy as high school players. If the Giants, a totally insane team, beat the Jets on Christmas Eve, then the Eagles are toast for the postseason. But if the Eagles beat the Cowboys, then the Redskins and Giants lose to the Jets then beat the Cowboys, Philadelphia will win the NFC East and host a wild-card game against a team they can beat, like Detroit or Atlanta. In the words of T.O., “Get your popcorn ready!” Go on now, git!
