I prefer Jim Palmer because he’s not John Kruk

Palmer is my preference - All pizza is good. The one you like best is a matter of personal preference. I like Jim Palmer as a baseball color analyst. The best thing about Palmer is that he isn't John Kruk. Palmer, now 75, is smooth, smart and insightful, and he doesn’t prattle on. He is efficient, just like he was on the mound. Scott Garceau doing Orioles play-by-play is also top of the line. Tom McCarthy and Kruk doing a Phillies broadcast is a dumbed-down version, just too many ordinary things explained that I don’t care about anyway. On Saturday, I watched the Phillies beat the Braves 4-0 and the Final Four wins, while reading 18 chapters of sportswriter Dave Kindred’s book, “Leave Out the Tragic Parts,” on my laptop.  

Creatures in convenience stores - The flow of the NCAA men’s Final Four games – even the overtime buzzer-beater thriller Gonzaga over UCLA – was “game interrupted” by commercial timeouts so many times that I felt exploited and began my own personal backlash exploitation defense. I’m tired of seeing celebrity millionaires in stupid commercials. I’m not getting a Capitol One card, buying a case of Corona, going to Wendy’s, buying a Buick, signing up for a new phone with AT&T or changing my insurance carrier. I am happily outside all demographics. My stimulus check is so paltry I can’t even buy a new flatscreen. And what is up with beast-like creatures buying Cokes in convenience stores? I’ve seen big-bottle soda buyers at convenience store counters, and the stranger the drink, the fatter the patron, with many kicking it all with a Five-Hour Energy. Uber Eats features Leslie Jones wearing a university hoodie ordering loaded tater tots. And while all these garbage-time assaults on our intelligences are being beamed into our bonus rooms, the players are standing courtside waiting for the all-clear to resume play. I’m not sure how it affects the outcome of any individual game, but in the universe, every cause has a resultant effect.           

Major league draft - Like the midsummer MLB All-Star Game, the draft was pulled out of Atlanta in response to what some people consider the passing of voter-suppression laws in Georgia. People are calling for boycotts on both sides of the issue; personally, I will continue to boycott the same stupid stuff I always avoid – the good news is, no one notices. The draft  is July 11-13.  Players just out of high school are eligible as well as college players who have completed three years since enrollment. Players don’t declare for the MLB Draft, which is great, so if you are selected in an early bonus money round, it may be wise to seize that opportunity and go for it. The current minor league system is all skewed up because of COVID, so let's not board that Bull Durham bus.      

Mule kick - The price you pay to play sports is the inevitable “mule kick” to the head in the middle of a dream. Games and competitions don’t come down to one play, but drama is often a focused moment as the athlete is crushed inside a celebration of the other team. In the zone where euphoric meets traumatic, you prefer to be the happy guy, but the mule kick builds character or sudden sullenness syndrome that can’t be shaken or shared because no one wants to hear it.    

Gilman 14, Cape 9 - Gilman boys’ lacrosse hosted Cape April 1, racing out to a 7-0 first-quarter lead before winning the game 14-9. Cape’s goal scorers were Gabe Best, Jaden Davis and Hank D’Ambrogi with two each and Mikey Frederick, Will Bragg and Jack Schell with one apiece. D’Ambrogi registered four assists, while Davis, Frederick and Best each had one. Michael Sposato was credited with 15 saves. Gilman plays in the MIAA, the top high school lacrosse league in the nation. Scorers for the Greyhounds were Charlie Pop with five, Oscar Woloson with three, Tucker Herbert with two, and Jay Wilkerson, Jake Tompkins, Chase Brody and Clayton Bradley with one apiece. Kyle Morris had 12 saves. Cape will play at Appoquinimink Thursday, April 8, then host Tatnall Saturday, April 10.

Snippets - From bluehens.com: “The Delaware women's lacrosse team has been sanctioned by the University of Delaware for violations of COVID-19 protocol established by the university, which has resulted in a six-week suspension leading to the cancellation of the remainder of the season.” This stems from a report of a prohibited large social gathering. I’m not sure if someone snitched, tattled or submitted video of the party. There is chatter and clatter on social media. Many students and athletes are not happy with an atmosphere that encourages students to drop dimes on alleged COVID offenders. As in all group punishments, innocent individuals pay the same price as the offenders. Go on now, git!