Leading a balanced life
Financial advisor Josh Halpern writes, “My folks just moved from their house of 36 years to a condo. To defer the decision process of what to keep and what to get rid of, my Dad simply rented three storage units. One is for stuff he wanted long term, but did not have space for in their new place. The second unit is for stuff he wants to sell or give away, but he ran out of time to do it before moving, and the third storage unit is for stuff he couldn’t part with so he put it in storage.
“Reading your column, watching my parents move, and frequent conversations with clients have really helped me be a better advisor. We financial types tend to focus on the numbers part of retirement (spreadsheets and pie charts) when so much more is just as challenging.”
I gave up my storage unit, but everything is residing in an unfinished attic. My husband’s grandmother’s mahogany twin poster beds with matching dresser and vanity. My wedding dress boxed and preserved for a daughter who chose her own dress. Framed photographs from three generations are taunting me.
A friend helped me decorate the tree and was astounded to see I could decorate Rockefeller Center. Not my fault, I said. I inherited them from relatives. My sister-in-law is also downsizing and lamented the number of tablecloths and napkins she inherited. Send them to me, I said, thinking I can donate them to our church. But once I touch them, I am transported to her dining room where I set the table and can see her in the kitchen at the stove panning rolls.
The reason we can’t let go of stuff is because it binds us to people who are no longer living. And then there are comments from the living - like my husband’s 86-year-old uncle, who says, “You would never dream of parting with that dental cabinet which has been in the family for three generations, would you?” That treasure is housed in the garage along with all 16 prehistoric dental tools just waiting for an old dentist to show up in my driveway and throw up his hands in joy!
My yoga teacher speaks of balance and how important it is to pay attention to your own body. Where are you holding tension? Where do you need to let go? I unpacked six boxes of tchotchkes. How many vases, small dishes and serving platters do I need? I can’t part with a brass World War I matchbox holder? My sisters are coming for Christmas and we are hanging up stockings. I can’t wait till Laurie reaches into the toe and pulls out our grandmother’s antique curling iron that traveled here from the Kansas prairie. Sister Sue will shriek with delight to behold our mother’s collection of small blue and white Copenhagen plates - all 17 of them.
Last of all, Sandra Pace wrote this to me. “We enjoyed your article on local winter happenings and would like to add the new Indoor Farmers Market now on Tuesdays (noon to 4 p.m.) through March 17 at East Coast Garden Center. As 2015 approaches, may you find balance in your home and in your heart. Donate to charity! Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Happy holidays everyone!
