Lewes is where I stay at

Where you stay at? Just a local expression. I will often ask a female athlete I interview who claims to be local, “In what general vicinity of the local community do you live? I’m not looking for your loran coordinates.” “What?” “Where you stay at?” Authentic locals will tell you if you go to the grocery store and don’t recognize anyone, those people are not local, or the real locals have stopped eating. I look down race results for locals listed by towns like Rehoboth, Milton or Lewes, but if I don’t recognize the name I declare them not local, probably a two address local looking for street cred. I was in a press elevator on a Monday night at Lincoln Financial Field with Ron Jaworski. I introduced myself and he said, “Where are you from, Dave?” “You mean where I stay at? I’m from Rehoboth Beach?” I sold out my Lewes address, didn’t want to explain its location using the Ferry Boat Discovery Channel riff. I figured I had a better chance citing a beach town with a Boardwalk by the sea, as I am nautical by nature.

Thick as a brick - When the current Cape fieldhouse leading into Legends Stadium was just constructed, I was walking into a football game and was asked by a CHEF representative if I wanted to buy a brick with my name on it. I remember my reaction, “Homey don’t buy no bricks. This is my house. Everyone knows my name, which is why I wear this badge around my neck just in case they forget.” Two weeks ago, I read a Facebook post by Janis Hanwell that Dan Cook and I had been approved by the school board for induction into Legends Stadium. My first thought was to ask chief custodian and former track athlete of mine Bernie Bowden, “Will I be lag bolted, molly bolted or toggle bolted?” I am honored and humbled, but I will continue to take myself not too seriously; otherwise, I will lose my round edge.

Fast and loose - The Tour de France is absolutely insane, and that’s just the spectators. There isn’t much crowd control, people run out into the road, some smack riders on the back. I saw three fat guys in yellow thongs, a woman on a galloping white horse keeping pace with the peloton, threatening to kill any spectator in her path. A major difference between Europeans and Americans is they are not eating all the time with their heads stuck inside some fast food bucket. Give me a $5,000 bike and a little EPO and I’m ready to draft off the back of someone’s big wheel.

I’m bad I’m nationwide - I live in a small place, and on the sports side I’d like it to stay that way. The Punkin’ Chunkers lost it when they got overly impressed by national exposure. Someone gets a paragraph in USA Today and thinks it makes them more important than they were the day before. The best kick any of us will ever get is to be recognized and appreciated inside our own small community. Best way to handle the national media is to suggest they get lost, that really piques their interest.

Snippets - Lean muscle mass and explosive speed is the way to condition for your sport. Beware of coaches who put their athletes through their own fitness regimen. It’s a sweet science minus the chocolates. We are all free agents, but I am not for sale. There is not enough money to displace me from the world I live in, the community and the people, what else could possibly be out there? Ever notice people buying cans and tubes of energy supplements look totally nonenergetic? An NFL post-game press conference, the head coach delivers remarks acting like he’s being kept from a nap followed by “time’s yours,” then a bunch of fat butt sportswriters ask questions about a game that is so 10 minutes ago, which is sports in ancient history and no one majors in history anymore. We all need a new formula. I’d like to meet with the offensive line in a segment called “Chewing the Fat.” Portugal wins the European Cup 1-0 over host France in double overtime because France didn’t score using a big ball and widest goal in all of sports on a field filled with exquisite athletes. The Cape Big League All-Star team won the state title July 10 with players Tommy Heffernan, Noah Piper, Will Geppert, Luke Workman, Dwyane Harmon, Will Jarrell, Richard Carey, Kyle Lux and Chase Marvel. Stay tuned! Go on now, git!