The party is over, and the fat lady is about to sing. Make no mistake about it, she is going to have a set of pipes on her the likes of which you’ve never heard.
She has been practicing now for the last couple of weekends. That’s right, Memorial Day is around the corner.
That means parking meters, traffic, crowds, digging for quarters and what Americans love best, long lines. Shrug it off now, but by the end of the summer, you won’t even remember your address and you will be diagnosed with a permanent condition known as having no bladder capacity at all. This is a condition resulting from being stuck in traffic and having to use your cup holder as a last resort.
There is a transformation that has to take place if you live here all year round. You’ve got to change your mindset quickly, from pulling right into a parking place downtown to being in a holding pattern that is showing up at the air traffic control tower in Dubai.
The highway will start to resemble a major cattle drive. You may as well just strap a saddle on top of your car and turn to Gene Autry. “I’m back in the saddle again, riding the range once more....”
We know there are so many positive benefits from all the tourists that descend upon the area.
Unfortunately, the only transformation in our minds has been a bet on how long you can actually stand it. What are the odds that you are going to make it until July before having a complete meltdown and then your body is no longer capable of producing red blood cells.
It does take some preparation to enter the season.
You probably have already noticed that as usual, DelDOT is on top of things. They’ve already closed some lanes on Route 1 to do some minor work, funneling vans filled with kids screaming they have to go potty into lanes with cars pulling boats the size of an aircraft carrier.
Eventually everyone will have to go potty, which is why they no longer have ashtrays in cars.
Still, it’s always amazing to look up and see crowds back at the boardwalk, lugging chairs and belongings like they are going into a waiting room at the nearest Greyhound Bus station.
People spilling onto the sidewalks with T-shirts that say Tourist from Hell, will become a common sight.
But that’s not the only thing spilling out in the summer, as the beach cover-up has gone the way of the rotary phone.
Rolls of skin, some looking like a bad paving job on an asphalt driveway will block your view, often even darkening the sunlight, to the point that some beachgoers pack up thinking there is an impending storm.
And let’s not forget those get-togethers with family and friends. Soon the aroma of charcoal grills sputtering and burning good prime meat into charred, black rawhide will permeate the air. Wait, that’s just at my house.
And how about that fashion statement for this summer? After one look at what is walking around, I know you are thinking this year it must be, I’ve given up on having a lifestyle.
I swear I saw a woman on Rehoboth Avenue wearing just a bra as a top.
But to clear our minds, let’s remember the real reason we celebrate Memorial Day is not just because it’s a day off from work and the official opening of summer; it’s because it is a time to honor those who have died in our nation’s service. That is the true meaning and one we should stop and fit into our plans.
Originally conceived as Decoration Day, the holiday that falls on the last Monday in May has many traditions. One of the most visible is the red poppy sale. It was conceived by Moina Michael to honor those who died serving their nation during war.
She was inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields” to write her own tribute, “We Shall Keep the Faith.” She wrote:
“We cherish too,
the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led;
It seems to signal
to the skies;
That blood of heroes
never dies...”
Take a moment to join our real heroes with a pause of silence, a thought, a prayer or a display of your flag. It will bring some clarity to the holiday.
-
Nancy Katz has a degree in creative writing and is the author of the book, "Notes from the Beach." She has written the column Around Town for the Cape Gazette for twenty years. Her style is satirical and deals with all aspects of living in a resort area on Delmarva.
