Nonprofit against domestic violence receives donation from local groups

Two local women’s groups, the Tea Toters of Delaware and the Southern Delaware Ethels, donated $700 in gift cards and cash to What Is Your Voice, a Sussex County-based nonprofit organization dedicated to helping local domestic violence survivors escape abuse and get back on their feet.

Cheryl Bradley, chair for both groups, presented the donations in a gift basket to WIYV founder Jacqueline Sterbach at a luncheon Dec. 6 at Abbott’s Grill.

Sterbach, who was in a constant cycle of abusive relationships herself, didn’t escape domestic violence until her late 50s. She equated leaving a domestic violence situation to leaving a house on fire. 

“Everywhere I moved meant death,” she said. “If I went out that door, my children would be killed. If I went out that door, he would kill me.”

The reason it takes so long to leave a burning house, she said, is because all of your life’s achievements, all of your investments, your name on the deed, and your cars, and your china, and the things your mother has given you to pass down ... all of that will be left behind. 

“When you leave, you’re going to burst out of a flaming window or door and escape with nothing but what you have [on your body], and the house is going to burn down, and you have to rebuild your life,” she said.

After Sterbach gained the strength and courage to leave her last abusive relationship for good, she knew she would dedicate her life to making a difference and ending the generational curse of domestic violence.

“I was starting to live a life I never knew,” she said. “A life of peace, where I could dream again, where I could have hope again. I knew I couldn’t give myself back everything lost; I couldn’t give my children back everything they deserved. But I could be one woman that will dedicate my life, until my last breath, to bringing change.”

Soon after, she met her now-husband, Walter Sterbach, who was a police officer at the time. Unbeknownst to Jacqueline, Walter had been so disturbed by the domestic abuse he witnessed through his work that he’d been collecting books and videos about the subject for 15 years, hoping to one day meet a woman who’d be willing to do something with him about it.

Jacqueline turned out to be that woman.

For two years, the pair opened their own home to tens of women experiencing domestic abuse, which can take the form of physical abuse, human trafficking, sex trafficking, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse and more. They provided a safe place to stay and offered services to help them.

Then, in 2014, they launched the nonprofit What Is Your Voice and built the infrastructure in their home, offering counselors, a provision and food pantry, case management and distribution.

After eight years of building that foundation, they transferred the services to the WIYV campus, which is located in Lewes and includes three houses, along with offices, storage units for provision, group therapy options, volunteer services and more. 

“When I came out of [domestic violence], I was physically sick,” Jacqueline said. “My soul was sick, my mind and my emotions spiritually void. I was so empty and frozen and didn’t know what to do.”

She therefore underscored the importance of WIYV’s holistic approach, serving as a hub for a wide range of services to restore all facets of an individual’s life and well-being. It works with about 45 community partners, including Beebe Healthcare, and is an affiliate with the Food Bank of Delaware, providing free medical care and food to those on its campus and in the community.

It has also provided about $245,000 worth of counseling services at no cost, and even provides laptops to those who want to earn a college degree, a feat that may have slipped away amidst their abuse.

“[WIYV is] in it for the life journey, because it does take a life journey to come out of trauma,” she continued. “When we pull women out of hard situations, [when] they come [to] us, our wings spread over them and all their needs are met in one location.”

About 500 survivors of domestic violence have come into WIYV’s long-term care network since its founding, Jacqueline said. The organization works with about 45 community partners

Over the past year alone, WIYV reports having responded to more than 12,000 messages through its 24/7 helpline, managing 1,500 counseling sessions and intakes, sustaining or setting up and furnishing 40 apartments and households and providing education and resources to 800,000 people.

The Tea Toters and Southern Delaware Ethels – which offer a space for women, mainly over the age of 50, to connect with new people and make friends – collectively chose WIYV as their beneficiary this year in place of a Pollyanna holiday gift exchange. 

The cause is personal for several of the nearly 400 women in the two groups, including Cheryl Bradley, who survived an abusive relationship of her own. 

Bradley was 17 and pregnant when her abuser, the father of the child she was carrying, first started beating her.

“I never knew when he came through the door whether it [would be] the storm or the calm before the storm,” Bradley recalled. “I never knew what to expect.”

The physical abuse got so bad that she had intestinal bleeding, and her doctor told her that if she didn’t leave him, she would lose her intestines. 

She left and went back to her abuser, with whom she had a child, seven times, believing him when he promised he would change and get help. But it wasn’t until her eighth time leaving, when a marriage counselor told her that it would only be a matter of time before he would start beating their child too, that she gained the strength to leave him for good.

At that time, Bradley said, there were no resources or help available. The work that WIYV does and the resources it provides for survivors now are “marvelous,” she said after hearing Jacqueline speak at the luncheon.

“When I was listening to her, I was just so thrilled,” Bradley said. 

For Jacqueline, every dollar donated to WIYV counts.

“A donation is not just money,” she said. “Each dollar represents something, and it’s changing a life and giving people that are rebuilding their lives a message that they are important, that they’re seen and they are worthy.”

To anyone out there experiencing some form of domestic abuse, Jacqueline said, “I believe you. I hear you. You are seen.”

For more information about WIYV, go to whatisyourvoice.com.