Oscars prove needy people

The Oscars prove to me that no matter how rich and famous they are, many people are so needy and insecure. They crave being recognized and winning cheap statues signifying they are The Best at something. I hear this line a lot on my beat: “Please, can you come cover the Interplanetary 10-Year Old Almost All-Stars Tether Ball Tournament this weekend? The kids have worked so hard and deserve some recognition.” I’m thinking “kids are great, no doubt about it” and it’s my job to make a story sing and be fun to read-- but deserving of recognition? Show me a 10-year old with even a concept of work hard and get recognition and I’ll show you a burgeoning needy and obnoxious kid on his way to being a chronic litigator when he grows up. Did you see when Colin Firth got his Oscar for “The Kings Speech”? He said, “I have a feeling my career just peaked.” I saw a group of 10-years olds running a minor league banner around a little league outfield and I joked, ”There’s embedded sadness in that image ‘cause someone’s career just peaked.” Reflect on your own athletic career and be honest, which is almost impossible in retrospect. What was your greatest moment? I admit to peaking in eighth grade.  I scored 51 points over two games and was MVP at a Catholic basketball tournament in Trenton, N. J. Then on the way out the door, I had to punch some punk from Blessed Sacrament who tried to grab and smash my stupid trophy, which my insecure and needy self still displays in the home office.

Fast Fat Guys- All people--from NFL draft prospects running 40-yard sprints at the scouting combine to my aging paternal aunts running laps around the fully stocked picnic table--who tip the Toledo scales at 300 pounds are, by body mass index life insurance charts, morbidly obese. Do you know what would happen if you accidentally stepped in front of some Under Armour 5X, aspiring-and-perspiring, 4.8-sprinting, backwoods-bayou-born, Cajun-speaking lineman?  You would be the cat and he would be the steamroller and your next of kin would be yelling, “Anybody got a snow shovel?”  I remember playing for Temple at 220 pounds and being told I had the frame and could easily carry 270 but I wouldn’t bite, and as I discovered in later life there is no advantage to being 270 except running over people that absolutely need to be rolled.

Relentlessly Annoying- March weather with that mid-50s wind-off-the-water-dampness signals spring sports season here at the beach. This Saturday, March 5, there are play days and scrimmages all over the landscape. Cape is fortunate with two turf fields and two Bermuda grass fields, an all-weather track, and lower middle class ball diamonds, but hey you can’t have everything. If the wind direction--the direction it comes from--includes “north” or “east” standing alone or in any combination, remember to wear a hooded sweatshirt and polar sunglasses. Baseball on a tough weather day is brutal just because games take forever.

SNIPPETS-The Cape boys’ basketball team will play at Concord March 4 if the Vikings were victorious over Newark earlier in the week. Get your tickets at Cape before driving up to a gym that holds only 300.  If the Cape girls won at home over Milford Thursday, March 3, they will play the winner of the Padua at Dover game Saturday, March 5, at the Bob Carpenter Center at a time to be announced. Ninth grade athletes can transfer back to the mother ship without any penalty or sit-out period. These choice and transfer rules are changing all the time, so check with DIAA before making a move; and if your situation is quirky, get the official interpretation in writing. Connor McDonald, 125 pounds, finished his wrestling season at Newberry 24-2, won the Super Region Tournament and is the number one seed in the upcoming NCAA Division 2 tournament March 11-12 at the University of Nebraska-Kearney.  Cape football has picked up Seaford and Washington, Md. for next season, having dropped Indian River and Polytech. Cape hockey has picked up Maryland schools Academy of Holy Cross and Our Lady of Good Counsel. John Yore, former Cape principal, is the principal of Good Counsel and, as we know, almost everybody loves John, certainly far more than love me. Go on no, git!