Single in retirement? Join the club!

I was newly retired when my husband accepted a six-month consulting job. He was walled off upstairs on a conference call, and I wanted to shout, “Can we please go to lunch?” What’s it like to retire as a single person? 

A month ago, I reached out to Carole Palamar, whose name was listed in the Cape Gazette Community Calendar as the contact for a singles group which was meeting for dinner that evening at Palate restaurant. 

Carole, secretary of the group, had this to share: “Our group (anyone over 50) meets at the Lewes Senior Center on the third Thursday of each month at 5:30 p.m. We have 28 members. Each week (Tuesdays) we have a lunch or dinner at a local restaurant for those wishing to participate. Other events include a trip to Cape May via the ferry, a white elephant party with pizza, Halloween and Christmas parties, and a mystery lunch.”

What’s a mystery lunch? Only the president and the bus driver know the restaurant location. They don’t go much farther than Dover or Ocean City, Md., but even small surprises can provide an interlude.

Joan Stranix, a member since 2004, explained that when she had only been a resident of Delaware for two years, she lost her husband and felt very much alone. “Joining SSBC was the best thing I did. I had no family in Delaware and friends were all couples who ran around with one another. I was vice president for several years and president for four, and have seen a lot of people come and go. Some people have met and married and then dropped out of the club, but several members have developed a relationship but remain single.”

Pam is divorced and retired; she sold her house and moved to the beach. She credits Osher Lifelong Learning and other options for helping her find her niche: “Through Osher I have the time to take classes such as bridge, mah jong, painting, writing, and history. Participation in local clubs like Lewes in Bloom and the Lewes Beekeeping Club offered me opportunities to beautify our community. My local friends have provided the relationships, support, nurturing, caring, and fun I so enjoy. My daughter says, ‘Mom, You are rockin’ retirement!’” 

Club member Carole says, “At our meetings, we take suggestions for other activities and different restaurants. I will not go out to dinner alone, so I enjoy knowing others in the same situation. Being without a significant other means not having a travel partner for wherever, and I have met new people that I now travel with.”

My single friend Jane, who recently traveled with me to Quebec City, says, “The hardest part about being retired and living alone is not having someone to talk to. Sometimes the house is too quiet, and I want a conversation. I always have the radio on.”

After traveling with me for five days, she was happy to return to her quiet home!

People interested in joining the singles club do not have to become members of the senior center. You can attend two outings and one me