Summertime guests are here to stay - watch out!

I was eavesdropping on a conversation between two women in line at the grocery store who were preparing to host invited guests last weekend.

“I just washed the sheets and towels yesterday and now more company is coming today!”

“Yes, I know what you mean. I just hosted my son’s family and I wish they hadn’t stripped the beds because the sheets are piled up in my laundry room and there’s no room for me.”

“You’re lucky that they strip the beds!”

I recall one of my guests who decided to put her sheets in my washing machine at 7:30 a.m. on the morning of her departure, and I woke to the agitating sound of the washer on the other side of my bedroom wall. She thought she was being helpful.

The etiquette columnist suggests that guests strip the beds and then put the comforter back on so that the room looks ready to go.

When my guests do this, I think this is a ridiculous waste of time as I then go into the room and haul it back off to put the sheets on.

My favorite guests are the ones who quip while they are packing, “Would you like me to remake the bed for you? Just hand me your spare sheets.”

“Here they are, thanks! Would you like me to make you some more coffee?”

I just read an article in the Washington Post last week about guest and host etiquette where a woman asked how many pillows do you suggest placing on the bed in the guest bedroom? The author suggests four - a combination of flat and fluffy so the guest may choose. Really?

My best friend Carolyn has a plethora of pillows on the bed where we have stayed overnight for the last 30 years. First I remove the stuffed dog who resembles their beloved deceased Jack Russell Terrier, Petrie, and the wooly lamb and then three teddy bears. Next I remove the cylinder-shaped satin striped pillows, followed by the checkered shams, then the second pair of solid-colored shams and finally the linen pillows with her husband’s and her initials embroidered on them.

Only then do I find the regular pillow intended for my head. I build a pyramid on the floor so I can remember the order when I remake the bed, but I would never say a word about the bedding as it is her home!

It’s best to communicate our expectations with our beloved guests before we begin to feel resentful, but not always possible.

I am recalling the two friends who sat on my living room couch watching a movie until after 1 a.m. I opened my bedroom door about 11:30 and asked them to turn it down a bit, and they complied, but I still tossed and turned wondering if I should have asked them to turn the damn thing off! I thought it rude of them.

Another time, a guest said, “I’m sorry to be drinking all of your white wine.”  I resisted the urge to say, “Then don’t!” I always bring my own bottle of wine when I am a guest as well as a bottle for the hosts.

Two of my friends, Ginny Daly and Ellen Collins, have published a book, “The Guest Book! The A to Z of Guestiquette,” available at Browseabout Books in Rehoboth Beach.

My favorite chapter is E for Entertaining.  Do I have to be with my guests every minute? “No, you do not, they say. Guests report that they like to have downtime to read, nap, go for a walk, explore the town, or go out for lunch.”

Bravo for this advice, because I never tire of showing off historic Lewes, but spare me another visit to the outlets, please. Have fun without me!