The quest for a perfect hat

Hats. I have dozens of them – the orange and black of the Orioles; the purple and black of the Ravens; hats from events I've attended; and many hats from places I've visited.

I've had a live-long pursuit of finding the perfect hat in fit, style and look. That quest has not been a fruitful one I must admit.

The perfect hat – or cap to be precise – must be the right color, and it must fit correctly and have the proper brim shape. I'm also pretty cheap and don't pay much more than $10 to $12 for a cap.

Caps are important to me because with a lack of hair on my head I need protection from the burning rays of the sun.

Over the past decade or so, I've only been able to find two caps that meet my exacting criteria, and I have lost both of them. So, the quest continues.

I had a perfect-fitting yellow Nike Tour de France cap that I treasured and only wore on special occasions. I left that one on a wall at Fort Jefferson in the Dry Tortugas off the coast of Key West, Fla. I remember taking it off to take a vertical photograph – when you turn the camera sideways it hits the brim of the cap.

Then after several years of searching, I found another perfect cap at the Dogfish Head Brewery store in Milton. The khaki cap fit like a glove, but alas, I only had that cap for a few months when I left it somewhere, probably a local restaurant. I've checked several times to find that same cap, but have come up empty.

My only hope is that someone who appreciates great caps found them and treated them properly. I've lost many other caps over the years; you would think that as important as caps are to me that I would treat them with more respect.

I thinned out my hat collection a few years back and it really, really hurt. I felt like I was saying good-bye to some old friends.

I have several caps that meet my minimum standards and those are the ones that I tend to wear the most. Unfortunately, the life of a cap is pretty short. Not only do they tend to fade with time, they get pretty disgusting around the inside brim. I've seen that weird plastic thing that you can use to wash caps in the dishwasher but have never tried it. Somehow, I don't see how that can work.

In this pursuit of the perfect cap, I have learned something about myself. My face or head is not straight, and it's getting worse. Now when I put on a cap, it tilts to one side. Then I have to readjust to make it straight and the fit is uncomfortable.

Caps are important to me because I wear them for about eight months of the year. And because I don't like the cold, I switch to stocking caps in the winter. Don't get me started; that's a topic for another day.