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Taking the Fifth (and the Second)

Elise Seyfried
September 3, 2024
The boys at Funland this summer

While much of my elementary school experience is a mental mush, for some reason my recall of both second and fifth grades is clear. In second grade at Epiphany School, I was just six years old. Academically I excelled (though the 1963 curriculum for grade 2 is more like what today’s toddlers are expected to tackle). There was lots of Dick, Jane, Spot and Puff (Puff? Was that the cat?), some SUPER simple math, and our first spelling bees (which I adored). Oh, and the Baltimore Catechism, which we parroted without a clue about what we were saying: #57: Q. What is venial sin? A. Venial sin is a slight offense against the law of God in matters of less importance, or in matters of great importance it is an offense committed without sufficient reflection or full consent of the will. Alrighty then.   

My teacher was Alice Mullally, whose name sounds sweet and mellifluous, but who was actually a tough cookie. Miss Mullally had taught my dad back in the Mesozoic Era; when I asked Dad what he remembered, the only thing was the day his classmate accidentally drove the sharp point of a protractor into his palm. No such bloody drama occurred when I was in Miss M’s class, but I remember seeing past her gruff exterior early on, and realizing she really did like kids (sorta).   
 
Then came nuns, for third and fourth. Fifth grade was Miss Hibbert, my second lay teacher. She awakened in me a lasting love of creative writing, and gave us more challenging books to read. She was also cut from the “strict but fair” cloth, but I was fond of her. At the end of fifth, I still had three more elementary school years to go, so growing up could wait awhile longer.  
 
In contrast, this is Aiden’s last year in elementary; Sandy Run Middle School looms for next fall. I’m not a huge fan of 6-7-8 middle schools; it seems unfortunate that the three most difficult years of childhood are isolated in one building. But meanwhile, I know he’ll do just fine this year as one of the “Big Kids” at Jarrettown.
 
Peter starts second (he missed the kindergarten cutoff with a late September birthday). Peter is bright to begin with, plus he has been successfully keeping up with Aiden his whole life, so he presents to the world as a much older child. His teacher, Mrs. Caviston, was his dad Sheridan’s and Uncle Evan’s kindergarten teacher back in the day, and she was Julie’s second grade teacher too. If she doesn’t receive a medal for teaching four Seyfrieds, I will buy her one.   
 
What will stay with my guys, I wonder? Memory is so strange, images and voices drifting through our brains, often randomly. My primary prayer for them both is a year of friends, fun and the joy of learning. If that’s all they recall in the future, that’ll be plenty.  
 
 Oh, one more prayer: please Lord, no protractor incidents!

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    I am an author (of five books, numerous plays, poetry and freelance articles,) a retired director (of Spiritual Formation at a Lutheran church,) and a producer (of five kids).

    I write about my hectic, funny, perfectly imperfect life.

    Please visit my website: www.eliseseyfried.com or email me at eliseseyf@gmail.com.

     

     

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