Adios Andy - never let the fat guy call the plays

Mike Mayock, a 52-year-old former NFL safety with the Giants, was doing his first NFL game as a color commentator next to veteran Tom Hammond Saturday calling the Seattle versus New Orleans crazy game. Mayock was good - crazy smart - but not annoying. But late in the fourth quarter he said, “This is the greatest playoff game I have ever seen since I can’t remember.” I thought, “How about the one that you can remember?” Later Sal Paolantonio giving his thought on the Packers at Eagles said Philadelphia would have to control Rod Woodson blitzing off the corner. He dropped Rod Woodson’s name five times; of course, I knew he meant Charles Woodson - I was just happy seeing a sports guy getting as confused as I can. Then on the “Sunday Sports Reporters” program, Mike Lupica prattled on about the Kansas City Chiefs’ excellent running game featuring Ray Rice. It was “Ray Rice” this and that - right guy, wrong team, like listening to your grandfather. You know what he’s trying to say and so does he, so what does it matter if it makes logical sense?

Don’t point at God - Eagles place kicker David Akers got a “What’s up” from the heavens Sunday against Green Bay when he pulled two field goals wide right in a playoff game the Eagles lost by five points. The problem with the showboating public pointing to God after made field goals is, “What do I do after a miss?” Akers just dropped his head and jogged to the bench. “How you like me now?” Hot from the Eagles media relations wire: David Akers played in his 19th postseason game, passing Brian Dawkins for the team record. He has scored at least one point in all 19 of those games, tying George Blanda for the second-longest streak in NFL postseason history. With 134 career postseason points, Akers passed Jerry Rice for third place in NFL history, trailing only Gary Anderson (153) and Adam Vinatieri (187) His 31 postseason field goals trail only Anderson (32) and Vinatieri (45). But if he left tomorrow, Philly will remember him as the guy who missed two in a playoff game.

Chain of fools - “I wear my sunglasses at night so I can/So I can forget my name while you collect your claim/And I wear my sunglasses at night so I can, so I can/See the light that’s right before my eyes.”- Corey Hart.

Delaware football coach K.C. Keeler should never have cast off the mojo of his signature sunglasses. K.C. has been at the helm at Rowan and Delaware for a total of seven national championship game losses.

That has been the destiny beyond his control. Friday night in Frisco, Texas, was the worst umpire call since Jim Joyce called a “dead out at first” safe at first, ruining the perfect game of Armando Galarraga. A booth review of a spot-on fourth down that resulted in a first down moved the ball back short of a first down. But the manual laborers of the sidelines, also known as the chain gang, had moved forward and had to come back and reposition and they set themselves incorrectly.

The result was a first down that wasn’t, and three plays later Eastern Washington scored the game-winning touchdown to beat Delaware 20-19. EWU coach Beau Baldwin - the lost Baldwin brother - had to murmur “Thank you, God” and bite his own hand when he saw the chain guys get it wrong. It’s the old “mistakes are part of the game and if they work in your favor just shut up about it.” One play or bad call doesn’t determine the outcome of a game except for when it does. Take nothing away from Eastern Washington – just polygraph the chain gang.

Adios, Andy - I have a basic rule in football: “Don’t let the fat guy call plays.” If I owned the Eagles I would tell Andy Reid to step off. I like Reid and believe he is a good guy and I can say that about a lot of guys I know, but his slow metabolism, big bull walrus, postgame depression rendition of game-changing plays - “We didn’t do a good job there” - is so woefully inadequate and uninspiring that I’d have to send him packing. No pun intended.

Snippets - I’m sitting here writing early Monday morning checking out a variety of weather warnings and predictions. Currently the National Weather Service is calling for less than half an inch while the frightened eyes of panicked supermarket shoppers tell me otherwise. If Tuesday begins as a snow day, school will be called off; you can put that in the bank. I’ll be at the gym preparing for my next muscle tear.