Cape High students sound off about bullying

Students and recent Cape High grads say students who are not top athletes or part of the in-crowd are often put down; their concerns are ignored by administrators.

Adrian D'Antoni, 18, a 2017 Cape High graduate, was one of eight students who attended a meeting June 19 at CAMP Rehoboth.

“With the administration not following through, we're left to fend for ourselves. We have to figure out our own ways of avoiding confrontation and avoiding getting beat up, ostracized, absolutely degraded until you feel like nothing but dirt on a daily basis,” D'Antoni said. “To have an authority figure that is supposed to protect you, not do anything about it even after you come to them a million different times. It is the worst feeling on the face of the planet.”

Forrest Carle, 17 and a rising senior, said Cape's administration does nothing when students say they have been bullied.

“They go case-by-case and care more about students that are doing sports than anything else,” he said. “From what I can tell you, Cape doesn't care about gay students.”

Madison Couture, a transgender teen and rising sophomore, said she has endured plenty of harassment at Cape High.

“I have been harassed by teachers, students and the administration. Teachers can be bullies,” she said.

Adults also say they have experienced bullying by educators.

John Michael Sophos, former GSA advisor at Cape High, said he has experienced bullying firsthand.

“I think we're not addressing the elephant in the room. The bullying going on at Cape is not just student-on-student bullying. Cape Henlopen High School is the only place in the county that I can speak to – the administration and some of the faculty model bullying behavior. Maybe not overtly, but in their lack of response and their lack of support for those faculty members and students who are trying to create a safe space.

“We can't address what's best for students until we get to the root of what actually is going on at the top. It's a big problem, and I'm not sure how we're going to change it,” Sophos said.

Cape Henlopen School District Superintendent Robert Fulton did not attend the meeting but he said the district supports all students through clubs, activities and programs.

“We are proud of the inclusive culture found in each of our schools,” he said. “All allegations made by students are treated seriously and thoroughly investigated by our administrative team.”

The examples shared by Forrest, Madison and Sophos June 19 echo concerns raised by students in 2011 during the fourth and last bullying forum former Attorney General Beau Biden attended at Cape High before his death.

Both parents and students asked Biden several times what to do about teachers who are bullies or those who allow students to bully one another in their classrooms. After talking around the difficult question, Biden eventually said students should go to the principal, and if nothing is done there, call the Attorney General's Office.

Caring teachers stifled

Roisin Greer, 15, a rising sophomore at Cape High, said there are teachers who do care about students, but there is no support for them.

“I think the administration and teachers are two completely different things. There are a few select teachers who will try to help a student who is getting bullied or who have issues, but they are being silenced. Students are left to feel helpless,” she said. “What looks better, publicly helping your students or silencing them?”

Cape Henlopen School District school board member Roni Posner was the only district representative who attended the forum. She did not comment during the forum but afterward she said she thought it was important that she attended.

“I was there to listen and learn,” said Posner, an openly gay woman. “I thought it was a very good and important meeting. I hope different groups can work together and improve what's happening.”

Roisin also mentioned a bullying incident at Cape High involving an African-American boy. A student in the boy's science class wrote the n-word using water and then posted a photo on Instagram showing the racist word.

As a result, she said, students met in groups during classtime to discuss the incident, a process called restorative circles.

“I was in three classes where we did that, and nobody said anything,” she said. “Students were so scared to say anything because it either didn't go with what the teacher is saying or it didn't go in relation with what the rest of kids are going to think, and they think they are going to get hurt because their opinions don't match what everyone else is thinking.”

Madison said she also participated in a restorative circle during class. There was no discussion about the racist incident, she said.

“When the restorative circle happened in my class, no one wanted to say anything. We were all too scared. I personally didn't want to say anything because I thought, how is this going to help? There's a teacher in the corner on his cellphone just texting, with not a care in the world about what's happening,” she said.

A Cape Gazette article describing the racial incident received comments about a student who protested by wearing a T-shirt condemning the district as racist, homophobic and sexist. Many commenters supported the girl's First Amendment right to wear a T-shirt, however, there were no comments about the use of the n-word written on school property and the photo of it circulated on social media.

Federal privacy laws prevent school districts from releasing information about specific students. Based on those privacy laws, school officials declined to speak about the racist incident but insisted the district supports diversity.

“I want to make known that words or actions by staff or students that do not promote diversity will not be tolerated and do not reflect the views of the Cape Henlopen School District,” Fulton wrote in a letter to his staff. “Additionally, such statements and/or actions are contrary to our core beliefs and values as a district.”

Adults implored to help

Madison said students need help from community groups such as CAMP Rehoboth and Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

“Either you start taking action about what's actually happening here, which is the bullying, or don't and there could be transgender students who go to Cape Henlopen High School who kill themselves next year,” Madison said. “I know. I was one who wanted to commit suicide because of the stupid bitches at this school that made me feel like hell each day, and I still do. But you know I'm still here, and I'm ready to fight. And I hope you all will take charge and fight for all individuals.”

Dan Foskey of Lewes said he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“I don't know how anyone can sit here and be calm. This subject irritates the living hell out of me,” he said. “All these kids see is lip service. They don't see support. There is no enforcement of this. We can talk this stuff to death, and nothing is going to change.”

Linda Gregory, president of Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, got teary after hearing students talk about their experience at Cape High. She said her goal is to open a GSA at every middle and high school in Sussex County.

“I want to say I'm sorry that your school experience has been so difficult for you. As an adult and a PFLAG person, I feel I've let you down. And so I apologize,” she said.

At the suggestion of some audience members, Gregory took names of adults interested in serving on an advocacy group for students.

“I think there have been some great ideas here tonight, and I think we need to step it up,” she said.

Dozens of adults vowed to do what they can to help a group of LGBTQ students at Cape High address issues of bullying at the school.

Beth Cohen, rabbi of Seaside Jewish Community, was one of about 50 people who attended the forum.

“I think we need a council of elders. I think we need a group of people who are willing to sit and be a support team to the students, to the administration and parents where we would be a place where people could be heard,” she said.

Human Relations Commission investigates

Issues with the Cape Henlopen School District are not new, said Gary Colangelo, Gay/Straight Alliance advisor at Cape High. “There is some history to this,” he said.

In 2014, the Delaware State Human Relations Commission began investigating Cape High after a group of GSA students were not allowed to wear rainbow stoles at graduation. The commission met with Cape students, faculty advisors and administrators over four mediation sessions, said commission member Nancy Maihoff.

She said superintendent Fulton told the group he was unaware of the situation, but once he learned about it, a new policy was implemented allowing students, including GSA members, to wear up to three stoles at graduation.

“The superintendent's office was very cooperative,” Maihoff said. “It was a matter of days that the matter was resolved.”

While the stole issue was solved through mediation, Maihoff said, the commission has the power to hold a hearing if it finds someone's equal accommodation rights have been violated. Three commissioners and a deputy attorney general would determine if there has been a violation, and, if so, there are steep penalties for teachers or school districts.

“If there are teachers who are harassing students, it is an issue we could take to a hearing,” she said. “There is a $5,000 fine for the first offense, $10,000 for a second offense. So there is some severe punishment for teachers who don't want to learn that there is equality in schools.”

Delaware American Civil Liberties Union legal director Richard Morse encouraged students to contact his office with their concerns, adding there is strength in numbers.

“We can go to administrators and say look at all these problems. Either you fix it and let's talk about how, or we'll sue you. But we can't do it without the information,” he said. “We at the ACLU are very easy to find. You Google ACLU Delaware, you get to our website real fast.”

Still, Cape High grad D'Antoni has his doubts that more talk will do any good.

“If you're just going to sit them down and try to teach these administrators and these students, it's all about how susceptible they are to absorbing the information that you are trying to give them. If they don't want to listen to it, they don't want to do anything about it, then it's going to be a repeat thing,” he said. “Something more serious needs to happen instead of just a slap on the wrist and go away. I've seen it happen way too many times.”