Gift buying? Shop local!

I dropped by to see my neighbor Jerry a few weeks ago and rang the doorbell. The doorbell answered, “Who is it?”

“It’s Lisa.” 

Then the doorbell said, “Hi, Lisa. It’s Jerry. I’m not home right now. I’m in Florida.”

For some reason I began to look around the porch and up at the windows.

“OK. I’ll talk to you when you get back,” I say.

I am penning this column on Cyber Monday and wonder if this could be a useful purchase. What if my Aunt Fran were to stop by? I could just say I’m in San Juan. 

Aunt Fran would park herself on the porch and ask, “How’s the weather? Is there a key hidden under the mat? When are you coming back? I can make soup for dinner.”

The other night I was invited to dinner at my friend Mark’s home. I call him a super host. He sets a lovely table of fine china and Waterford crystal, and he’s a great cook! During dinner he asked Alexa to play Debussy. Soon she began to play one of this French composer’s finest works, “Clair de Lune.” 

“Isn’t this nice?” My mood brightens. “I’ve never bought Alexa.” 

“Alexa can do almost anything. She can even fart. Alexa, can you fart?”

Alexa began to fart. Apparently there are many types of farts including bathtub ones, quick ones and funny ones. And you can add an extension pack for Christmas. Santa’s farts!

Technology has made so many advancements. 

Many of my friends have bought a Fitbit so they can count how many steps they take. Of all the things I want to count, steps have never interested me. I love walking, and when I get tired, I love resting. Apparently, when you sleep, a Fitbit can tell you how well you have rested. So don’t stay up late talking to Alexa. 

Let’s check the internet and see what the deals are for Cyber Monday!

Ah! MyQ Smart Garage Door Opener, only $29.98. Instead of $39.98. Amazon. Here’s what the ad says, “If you’re looking to upgrade your garage door opener (and honestly, who isn’t?) the MyQ smart garage door opener is beloved by shoppers. Through an app on your phone, you can open or close your garage door from anywhere, and you can add up to three people with the app too, which is ideal for families.”

Are you kidding me?  Why would I want to give Aunt Fran access to my garage? 

Honestly, I have been known to leave town and leave my garage door open. My neighbors already know my key code because one time Sue needed round cake pans, and Kathy and I have the exact same code number. In case one of us forgets our own, we can ask each other. 

Close the garage and the computer, and consider shopping local! It isn’t about saving money. It’s about helping small businesses stay solvent. We can shop, dine, and delight in the charm and character of our local towns and restaurants. Maybe we could even walk into town!

Write to lgraff1979@gmail.com.