Dr. Gary David Wray, military historian
Dr. Gary David Wray, 78, of Lewes, passed away peacefully late at night Thursday, Feb. 3, 2022, surrounded by so much love, after a very short and very courageous battle with cancer. Gary was diagnosed with terminal cancer two weeks before Christmas, and his family would like to thank the team of Beebe Healthcare nurses and physicians who provided him with such thorough and compassionate care. Gary always felt very fortunate to be surrounded by and have access to such a great medical community, having previously been a Stage 3 cancer survivor in 2014. Even on his deathbed in Beebe ICU, Gary was able to communicate to his family how “everyone has been so great” during his treatment, and he respected his nurses and doctors so much. Thank you, Beebe Healthcare, from the Wray family for allowing us to feel that we did everything possible for Gary, and that we provided him with peace and comfort in his final moments in this life.
Gary was a proud West Virginian, born Oct. 1, 1943, at Raleigh General Hospital in Beckley, W.Va., to the late Roy Oliver Wray Jr. and Louella Harper Wray. He graduated from Charleston High School in Charleston, W.Va., in 1961. Gary was a 1965 graduate of Morris Harvey College (now University of Charleston) in Charleston, where he majored in his lifelong passion – history – with a minor in another lifelong passion, education. His entire life, Gary would be a thorough source of historical facts – he was an amazing storyteller. Gary was a member of Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity while attending Morris Harvey, where he made some lifelong fraternity brothers, in addition to his lifelong friends from Charleston High School. Gary’s love of his home state of West Virginia ran through his blood for the rest of his life, and he passed this love on to his family. Gary moved to Delaware in 1966; he earned his master’s degree in history and administration certificate from University of Delaware in 1969 and his doctorate in educational leadership from University of Delaware in 1991.
Before acknowledging his life accomplishments, which are many because of a life well lived, you must know that first and foremost, Gary David Wray was a family man. His family was his first love. He loved everyone in his family so much. He was always our family patriarch. Gary was lovingly raised by so many deeply loved and missed family members in West Virginia who predeceased him, particularly his parents, Roy and Louella Wray; his maternal grandparents, TJ “Jeff” (Granddaddy) and Mabel (Granny) Harper, his paternal grandmother Eula (Mother) Wray; and his uncle and aunt, Ted and Margaret Ann George. Gary is also predeceased by his brother, Randall Wray; his sister, Julia Ann Wray; his uncle, Thomas Harper; his cousin, Ronnie Hall; and many other close family members, almost all of whom are buried together in family plots on Harper Road in Beckley, and whose legacy we all carry within our hearts. Gary’s Granddaddy, TJ “Jeff” Harper of Harper, W.Va., with whom he frequently lived as he was growing up, was quite the businessman and community leader – he would take young Gary around to his business ventures, including coal mines. Gary’s father, Roy O. Wray Jr., was a newspaper advertising sales executive in Charleston for over 40 years, and Gary spent many hours in the Charleston Newspapers building growing up, at his father’s desk and down in the print room. Gary’s first job was as a paperboy in Charleston. Gary lived the rest of his life making his Granddaddy (who passed away in 1959 when Gary was 15), his father, and all his family proud. One of Gary’s final resting places will be his burial with his family in Beckley, W.Va.
Gary lovingly raised three daughters and nine grandchildren with Nancy Alden Roberts, his ex-wife, and lifelong friend and companion since they met in college when they were 17 years old, and who passed away just weeks before Gary on Christmas Day, 2021. Their three daughters, Jessica (Mrs. John) O’Leary in Ocean View, Robin Harper Wray in Lewes, and Katharine “Katie” Alden (Mrs. Mike) Schimmel in Lincoln, will forever miss their mother and father, who they know are now watching over them together in Heaven. Gary was a loving and doting Pa Pa to nine grandchildren, ranging in age from 7 to 21, who miss Pa Pa’s constant presence in their lives: Mandy Christopher of Berlin, Md.; Abbey Christopher of Salisbury, Md.; Max and Zak Wray of Lewes; Liam, Sean, and Lily O’Leary of Ocean View; and Nicholas and Christian Schimmel of Lincoln. In addition to his three daughters, two sons-in-law, and nine grandchildren, Gary is also survived by his cousin, Ted George and his wife Sue of Dover, and their children Ryan and Ashley; his cousin, Steve George and his wife Robin in Beckley; cousin, Pam George; brothers- and sisters-in-law, John Alden (Amy) in Columbus, Ohio, and Jim Alden (Kathy) in Spring Lake, N.J.; eight nieces and nephews from his Alden family that he was always “Uncle Gary” to; his longtime special friend and companion since 1987, Janet Graviet, and her children Nicole Keller, Chrissy Meszaros, and Matt Graviet; many lifelong friends, particularly Betty and Butch Daugherty, and Carolyn and Chuck Wilson in Maryland; and many other friends, acquaintances, and colleagues Gary truly cared about and enjoyed, and who will all deeply miss him.
Gary came to Delaware in 1966 from West Virginia and continued his career in education in Delaware as a teacher and administrator in the Caesar Rodney, Milford and Cape Henlopen districts. During his 30+ years in the Cape Henlopen School District, Gary was a teacher at Cape Henlopen High School in the 1970s, principal at Lewes Junior High School and Lewes Middle School in the 1980s and 1990s, and director of secondary education from 1984-93, retiring as a Cape Henlopen School District administrator in 1995. He was elected to the Cape Henlopen School Board in 2005 and served from 2005-10; he was vice president of the board for one year and president for three years. During his tenure, he actively worked to build the new Cape Henlopen High School that opened in 2010, and Gary helped to create the Cape Henlopen Educational Foundation (CHEF). Gary also was familiar with the charter school system, as he worked to create the charter for Sussex Academy and served on the board of directors as a founding member until he resigned from his Sussex Academy board seat in 2001. Two of his six grandsons will be graduating from Sussex Academy. Gary proudly proclaimed himself principal of “Wray Academy” during the pandemic as he helped with remote learning for two of his six grandsons from March 2020 to June 2021. Gary also was a university professor of history and many other subjects, both in undergraduate and graduate programs, in many colleges and universities throughout Delaware and Maryland, primarily at Wilmington University for many decades.
From the moment Gary moved to Delaware in 1966, his passion for history was involved in all aspects of his life in Delaware, first working on improving Fort Delaware and later in the 1990s shifting his attention to Fort Miles in Lewes. In August 2003, Gary co-founded the Fort Miles Historical Association (FMHA) with Bob Frederick, David Main, and the late Delaware State Parks Historian Lee Jennings, while standing under Tower 3 at Dewey Beach. In 2005, Gary and Lee wrote the book on Fort Miles, published by Arcadia Publishing. During his 17-year tenure with FMHA, Gary served as the organization’s president, combining his love of history, particularly military history, with his extraordinary vision and dedication to preserving history and serving his community, to lead FMHA to significant growth and the formation of the Fort Miles Museum in 2016. Gary’s goal was to work with others to make the Fort Miles Museum the best World War II museum inside a WWII facility in the country. Gary took on a mission to preserve the railroad history of Lewes as one of the founders of the Lewes Junction Railroad & Bridge Association (LJRBA). Civic duty and saving historical artifacts were lifelong passions for Gary Wray, and the members of FMHA and LJRBA are continuing those efforts.
Gary was elected to the oldest Delaware historical society, the Delaware Historical Society Board of Trustees, and served two terms. In 2016, Gary was chosen for the Delaware Maritime Hall of Fame when the Overfalls Foundation held its 10th annual Delaware Maritime Hall of Fame induction. Gary’s name is engraved on the Hall of Fame monument, which sits along the canal in Lewes adjacent to the Lightship Overfalls.
Gary loved the beach and loved to surf fish. This is also why he moved to Lewes in 1984. His love of surf fishing led him to fall in love with the Outer Banks of North Carolina in the 1960s. Gary bought a timeshare on the beach in Kill Devil Hills that he has traveled to with his family every year since the early 1980s. The family was fortunate to spend two weeks there with Gary in 2021, not knowing it would be Gary’s last visit there with his family. Gary’s condo in the Outer Banks is a peaceful, memory-filled place for Gary’s children and grandchildren, and it is a place where they will continue to honor their love for their beloved father and Pa Pa each year.
Memories of Gary will be cherished forever by many, many people.
A memorial service will be held at 10 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 19, at Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium, Atkins-Lodge Chapel, 16961 Kings Highway, Lewes, where friends may visit beginning at 9 a.m. Friends may also visit Friday, Feb. 18, from 3 to 6 p.m.
All who cannot attend in person are invited to join the services via livestream at the following link: webcasts.lifetributes.com/1193046.
Mask wearing is required and social distancing must be observed by all service attendees and participants.
Fort Miles always had a very special place in Gary’s heart. Anyone who wishes to honor Gary’s memory could do so with a donation to Fort Miles Historical Association, P.O. Box 52, Lewes, DE 19958, or fortmilesha.org. Gary’s memory could also be honored with a donation to the Lewes Junction Railroad & Bridge Association, P.O. Box 705, Lewes, DE 19958, or lewesjunctionrr.org. Gary was always so appreciative of any donations to both organizations.
Final care for Dr. Wray has been entrusted to Parsell Funeral Homes and Crematorium, Atkins-Lodge Chapel, Lewes.
Visit Gary’s Life Memorial webpage and sign his virtual guest book at parsellfuneralhomes.com.
