Remembering Matt Haley

Rehoboth Beach-based restaurateur/chef Matt Haley died Aug. 19 from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident in India. He was traveling through Northern India and Nepal on a six-week humanitarian mission. An outdoor service to honor Haley was scheduled for Sunday, Sept. 28, at the Freeman Stage at Bayside in Selbyville.

It’s an honor to be here. I’m really glad that I can be with you guys tonight. You know, the staff, the faculty, the families, and more importantly the graduates - it’s an honor and a privilege to be here.

For a guy that at a time in his life really didn’t feel like he fit in anywhere.

I got to meet with some of you students in a room over by Dr. Smith’s office. We got to talk about what this night was and what it meant to the students, and I took notes. We had a fantastic time. There were guys and girls - people from all over the world in the meeting that day. It was invigorating. It was fantastic to see people that worked so hard to get here and to be able to be here tonight - to graduate and to be able to feel the greatness behind that. You know, and it’s a greatness I didn’t allow myself to feel for a long time in my life.

I took notes in that meeting, and then I lost the notes. And so I thought what I just wanted to talk about tonight was honesty.

I can’t sit up here tonight and tell you what you need to do. But I can share my experience, strength, and hope. I can share a little of my story, and all I can do is tell you the truth, the truth about how I’ve lived my life and how I am living it today. What’s important to me.

And what’s important to me has become important to a group of people not only here in Delaware, what I consider the greatest community in the world, but in other communities around the world, and it’s very heartfelt. It feels good. I’m only here tonight because I’m a byproduct of a group of examples, especially in this community here. I moved here in 1999. This community in Delaware reached out, held me, supported me, and it’s become such a big part of my life.

It has taught me most of what I know along with Sister Rosa, Sister Ascension, and Sister Maria. Three of my favorite people in the world. Thanks for being here tonight.

When I was little, I grew up in a crazy, violent, very abusive environment. Being raised, I grew up as a little boy that felt like he never fit in. I felt very less than, betrayed, abandoned and rejected.

I never felt smart. I never felt like I could learn. I remember being in school and the teachers would ask me questions, and I didn’t know the answers. I remember how I felt shame. I remember how I felt guilt. I felt like I would never amount to anything, and I carried that forward with myself. I got the message early that I was basically not going to be worth anything, and I carried that message out, and I lived that way for a long time in my life.

By the time I was 30 years old I wanted to die. I felt so invalid, so less than, and so inadequate in life that I absolutely was begging God to kill me.

But he had another plan for me and put me on a track which four years later put me out in the world.

At 34 years old I was taking a bus to work making seven dollars an hour. But what I learned in that four years was that I was allowed to have a dream, and I was allowed to believe in myself, and I was allowed to surround myself with positive people.

People that would support me. People that would help me, people that would love me, people that would love me until I learned to love myself. People that would believe in me until I learned how to believe in myself. It was an amazing experience for me - little by little, learning that I could build upon that in my life, and I could tell you.

And you can read about it and I can tell you about all the successes I’ve had.

I basically have a very large company now, and under the umbrella of the Matt Haley Companies we have 27 different companies. We employ about a thousand people, and generate over $50 million a year in revenue for the state.

I’m here to tell you that means nothing.

You know the most important thing for me that I’ve learned was the ability to be able to be creative and expressive, and to work and collaborate with a group of people not only here but around the world. To follow our dreams, to learn how to believe in ourselves, support ourselves, and collaborate for good.

You know business nowadays is a byproduct of our involvement in our community. It’s a byproduct of the service that we provide for others - not only in our community, but around the world. I’ve had the opportunity to travel all over the world. I’ve done things everywhere in the world, and it’s been fantastic.

I have been able to spend a lot of time in Southeast Asia, Central America, South America, all over North America and Europe - being involved with people trying to carry the message that was told to me here in this community. And it’s been a fantastic, fantastic journey for us.

But part of that journey that came through for me was the creativity and the understanding that I never had to go to work and do anything that I didn’t want to do. This is the point that I want to press tonight, that I didn’t learn until I was in my late 30s - that I didn’t have to do things that didn’t make me happy.

And I learned in my life that I could do things that made me happy, and that I can have a job doing something that I loved. And if I had a job doing something I loved, I would never have to work another day as long as I lived. So I’ve had the opportunity to get up every day and get to go to work.

I do not have to go to work. But by being able to go to work performing at the level that we do, we get to carry the message around the world and get involved with things that are fantastic because there’s no more heartfelt feeling in the world than being able to be of service to another human being. And to be able to be an example, but only by way of being allowed to have examples in your life.

So if I ask anything of you guys tonight… if there’s anything I could say, if there’s any message that I could carry I just want to challenge you to take risks, to believe in yourself, to do things that you love, to travel, to see the world, to help people. And to also, more importantly, provide for yourself and know that you have whatever it takes within you to do anything you want to do in the world.

I am proof positive, without a shadow of a doubt…my life, I am proof positive that the only thing that can stop me from having and doing anything I want in the world is me. There’s nothing else in the world to stop me from improving me.

And it is a fantastic feeling. It’s a feeling that I didn’t know I was allowed to feel for a long time.

So if you’re out there tonight and you second-guess yourself, I ask you to please take a risk and overcome your fears. Fears had run my life for so long, and they don’t run it anymore because once I learned that I can overcome that, and that I could move forward and step into life, along with asking people for help, and I stopped being afraid of being afraid, I got to move forward in life and live the life that I live. I get to go to work today, and I get to work with groups of people who are absolutely fantastic that get to carry the message in other places.

And I’m proud of that. I couldn’t be prouder or feel better about being here tonight, because for so long in my life I wasn’t wanted anywhere.

And tonight to be able to be able to come here and stand up in front you and share a little bit about my story and what I’ve done and the opportunities that I’ve had in my life makes me feel good. I truly believe in my heart that there are no challenges in life. I believe that life is full of opportunities.

So the next time you feel like you’re challenged, and you feel like your back is up against the wall, I just ask you to please reach deep down inside yourself, to whatever it is inside you, to overcome the fear…to move forward and live the life that you deserve to live. Thank you.