Beauty tips for seniors
Last week I was one of several writers invited to read my work to an audience gathered at Paradigm Restaurant. The occasion was the 10th anniversary of the Rehoboth Beach Writers' Guild, a nonprofit organization which supports writers, musicians and artists in our community.
Each month a different topic is announced, and writers can sign up to create any genre of writing as long as they promise guild founder Maribeth Fischer to keep it at 300 words or less.
Here is my contribution from 2013 on the topic of Firsts, an appropriate selection for retirement-age women in particular.
“For the first time in my life I bought face makeup to try to cover up age spots, wrinkles and these dark circles under my eyes. For 60 years I have scoffed at anti-aging crèmes and their inability to smooth over the crevices of time.
Here’s what I bought last week. Intensive Renewal serum. Corrective eye cream. Perfecting liquid foundation broad spectrum.
I also bought one of those magnifying mirrors in order to find my eyelids. Scary. I recently upgraded my mirror from 5x to 10x. Terrifying. I don’t want to see my face in this way.
My mirror has a suction cup on the back of it. The problem is that when I fasten it to my bathroom mirror I am still 2 1/2 feet away from it leaning over the vanity to find hair stalks. Now I have a herniated neck from sticking my chin out.
The problem is I can’t always find my face if I don’t position the hand mirror in the precise location on the larger mirror. You should see my bathroom mirror. There are at least four suction pock marks where I have made numerous attempts to find the horse hairs on my chin. I can feel them, so I know they are real.
The first time I positioned the mirror, I could only see my forehead. Not hairy. Next I got one huge eyeball staring back at me, and this scared the crap out of me. Third attempt - I hit two nostrils the size of golf balls.
On my final attempt, I found two very long and very thick white hairs on my neck that you’d think one of my dear old friends could have told me about. Maybe I should wait for a third one so I can braid them. If I saw my girlfriend Nancy with a long one when she turned to drink her cosmos, I would have offered her my tweezers. I’m just sayin’.
Beauty secrets are meant to be shared. I am sorry I can’t help you. Life lessons from Lisa: thin cucumber slices floating in a Stohli martini. Spend your retirement money wisely.
If you would like to enjoy an evening of song and stories written by local writers, our next reading at Paradigm on Route 9 west of Lewes is 7 p.m., Tuesday, July 21. The theme is Heat. Please RSVP to fischer.maribeth@gmail.com. And come early to get a good seat and have a bite to eat!
Do you have beauty tips for seniors? Write to Lisa at lgraff1979@gmail.com.
