Along with age come political opinions and controversy

We are certainly entering a year of great division and uncertainty. A lot of people are asking themselves, who are we, what do we stand for, and has anyone seen my glasses? Looking for your glasses is expected to be a major workout activity in 2021.

The answer to these questions is not as simple as taking a stand on gun control, where a simple yea or you’re darn tootin’ will suffice.  There are a lot of political repercussions. The country is divided. This is more like the first day of kindergarten deciding where the substitute teacher is hiding, judging by the number of spitballs.

It’s a little easier to understand the problem if we use age as a definition. Let’s take myself as an example. Oh, stop cringing and learn something, or maybe not. Anyway, I would be defined at my age as a geezer or anyone who walks around saying, “What did you say?”or “Could you repeat that?” or just plain, “Huh?” Actually, I love this because I can select what I want to hear.

You see, as you age, very often your hearing declines to the point that you have to shovel the number of free solicitations for hearing aids out of the mailbox. These solicitations often show you that you will be able to actually hear what gatherings your family have not included you on the invitation list. It’s one of the better signs of geezerhood. Plus, there is enough wax build up in your inner ear canals to start your own candle business.

You can also tell a person’s age by the seismic rocking activity coming from turning the volume of the television up so high, every alarm, air raid siren and Comcast alert goes off at once.

Sometimes heat will exude from a house where people of my generation exist, living under puffy coats and comforters all day long. We are always freezing, a trait, no doubt left over from the Nixon era.

But along with age come political opinions and controversy steeped in tradition and folklore.  So, what do we really stand for? Well, as far as I can tell, our values are the pursuit of finding those glasses, car keys and cellphones.

The unrest, age wise, also may be divided along the lines of youth; youth as defined as someone coming of age within the 21st century, without fins, it goes without saying. Good luck with that.

Now the younger generation is considered very bright. They are a species born wearing glasses, can recite the Gettysburg Address at 1 week old, walk a mile at a month old, and as they mature definitely have never heard of the New England Patriots. They take classes in college like “The Existential Poetry of Existentialists.” And they eat no food that has parents.

Their dress is very trendy as in anything lying on the floor. Now, I am not making light of the younger generation. We need them more than ever for their fresh ideas and different insights into today’s complicated philosophies and ideology.

So how do we get these two sides, age wise, together so peace and civility will reign again? This is easier than you think. You get them in a room together where the young people will point out that the geezer’s glasses are on their head, as they always are, and the geezers will give the young people something that will change their life forever, an Etch-A-Sketch.