Big John Valentino, executive vice president
Big John Valentino is now on a boat toward eternal sunrise and the love of his life, Jessie, pina colada in hand and cigar in the other, while the rest of us poor SOBs have to work. He was a day late for Valentine's Day, having set sail Friday, Feb. 15, 2019. Boy, he'd better come up with an extra nice gift/apology/dinner for Jessie.
John was born in Patchogue, N.Y., Jan. 10, 1933. He was a handsome Italian devil who played football in school, and a patriot who served in the Navy. He lived in a submarine for 30 days to test the effects of isolation on the human body.
In 1960, John married a Jewish girl from the Bronx. Her name was Jessica Offerman. They met at a bar - the opposite of where you should meet your lifelong partner, though they never did bend to society’s expectations. John was watching a boxing match when Jessie spotted him and told her girlfriend she thought he was cute. Her girlfriend dared her to go up to poppy, and she did. Jessie tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hi.” The fool would not give her the time of day, his “West Side Story” eyes glued to the match.
Jessie went back to her friend and said, “I think he might be gay.”
Fifty-four beautiful years of marriage followed, with two kids named Lil John and Lori Valentino, both of whom he absolutely adored and loved to yell at, and three grandkids whom he absolutely adored and loved to tease. After a successful career climbing to the position of executive vice president of a computer company, the lucky bastard got to retire when he was 54 (though he said he “did consulting” after that age).
As poppy always said, “Find something you love to do, and learn to make money at it.”
A Memorial Service will be held Wednesday, Feb. 20, at 11 a.m., at Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium, Atkins-Lodge Chapel, 16961 Kings Highway, Lewes, where friends may visit beginning at 10 a.m. Interment will follow services at 1 p.m., at the Delaware Veterans Cemetery, Millsboro.
Please visit John's Life Memorial Webpage and sign his online guestbook at www.parsellfuneralhomes.com.
