Decorating and disagreements
Amy from Bethany writes, “Dear Lisa, some time ago you wrote about the difficulty of two retired people living in the same space. My husband is like Felix and I am like Oscar. He likes everything in its correct space and I am never bothered by clutter around me. But when it comes to decorating, he drives me crazy with every detail. Any ideas about how we can learn to coexist in our new nest?
Dear Amy, so sorry but I am the neat freak like Felix. Clutter doesn’t bother my husband. I bought a basket to put on the counter so he could deposit his keys, pocket change and receipts whenever he comes in the door. Now the basket is overflowing, and I think maybe I should buy a bigger basket. But for some reason, he is fastidious about lightbulbs. One day I could cut up carrots and the next day I am fumbling in the dark trying to find knives. The new bulbs are energy efficient, he boasts! I believe you, I say, but what if I want to efficiently make dinner? He finally caved in and bought the old kind and I can see clearly wherever he leaves toast crumbs on the counter. I do think we get more set in our ways as we get older.
We can laugh and cry about it, but maybe try to create separate spaces as retreats. Still, I want to go into my husband’s man cave and move out five boxes of excess computer parts. I can’t even carry on a conversation, let alone sit in that room because it is so cluttered. His strategy to keep me at bay, ya think?
Speaking of decorating, did you know that they sell paper shades to put on windows while you take time to order more attractive and outlandishly expensive ones? Just thought I’d pass on this info because for two months I have crawled around below window height late at night to avoid flashing other seniors.
My girlfriends love to help me decorate. This past holiday weekend the four of us took all of the furniture out of the room and dragged the carpet north, south, east and west until we all agreed on its prime location. Then they decided that my silverware drawer was not in the ideal spot and it needed to be moved closer to the dishwasher for easy unloading. My poor husband was a great sport about the whole thing. But today I also chose a new spot for dish towels and pot holders, and he left the house to go work out at the gym.
Working out is one way to declutter your mind, which is more important than decluttering the home or office. The longer I am retired, the more activities I find to become involved in. I vowed to ink in my exercise date on the calendar too! The new year is the time to ask yourself, “What am I most happy doing with my free time?” and if you can eliminate some volunteer work which has become more like real work, then do so. Staying busy just to be busy isn’t healthy. For my part, I don’t want to attend another book club without finishing or reading the book. One time I kept nodding my head in agreement like a bobble head pretending I hated the ending too because I was too embarrassed to admit the truth. Make time to read!
Write to me won’t you pretty please at lgraff1979@gmail.com.
