Lots of people are concerned about the parameters of all the new technology, since they use this medium as a substitute for a real life and to form relationships with pretend friends. What with all the Twitter, tweeting, Facebook, eBay, Zooming and hot singles sites, it’s no wonder we don’t even know how to say hello to an actual living, breathing human. You may as well cut out pictures from People magazine and place them at the dinner table as guests.
Technology comes with a great many pitfalls, so it’s quite natural to be in a full-blown paranoia, only seen in psychiatric wards depicted in those old black-and-white films from the ‘50s. Strangers hacking into what little mind you have left is a frightening thought. Fortunately, not for you, but for them, especially if they go as far back as elementary school. Nuns wielding rulers are stored somewhere in there.
One of the worst pitfalls of these devices is the password. And I say this with all the compassion in the world, “Don’t ever, ever, ever forget your password!” With so many devices that have different passwords, you automatically will be placed on a list for public stoning should you forget the password you started with 10 years ago. You will be looked at with complete disdain, as if you opened a carton of soured milk.
Also, no one even remembers what the term privacy means anymore. In fact, I recently saw it as a word to be defined on “Wheel of Fortune.” Of course, not one contestant could guess any of the letters.
Anything that rings in your home will have been funneled from a Third World country, and that includes the landline, cellphone, computer, dishwasher and even your doorbell ring originates in the Mediterranean area. They know your real dress size and the fact that you lied about your age at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
It seems that social media has taken over any brain power left in a person’s skull. Between Twitter and Facebook time, users share the most intimate, outstanding, dramatic parts of their lives. OK, mostly it’s about if they are going out to lunch that day. But it still counts.
But all this stuff is amateur night compared to real technology, which no one on this planet has been able to bust through. And that is getting to talk to a real person at your local cable company, telephone provider or any tech support. Just being on hold is considered enough of an endurance test to qualify for the Olympics.
Now, I am not picking on the cable companies, but I have it on good authority that all the billions being spent on space exploration to Mars is because scientists now believe that is where the headquarters of all utility companies exist.
If the government was serious about security, they could just hire one of these companies to be in charge of their intelligence. Believe me, no one would get through. There would be no leaks, no Snowden memos, no whistleblowers, only the voice telling you this call may be recorded. Yikes!
The sun will come out tomorrow, regardless of technology. And I’ll still be listed on “hot-elderly-who-still-drive-but-can’t-see-or-hear-a-thing-grandmothers.com.”
The recent virus and the anticipated cooler temperatures entice us to stay inside and use the computer as a means of communicating and amusing ourselves. There are no more books printed to make us consider sitting by the fire and turning pages. OK, no one really remembers to open that flue anyway.
As Albert Camus, the philosopher, once said, “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” Fine for him; he can afford to sit around all day, but say hello to your new best friend from Amazon, it is still Alexa!
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Nancy Katz has a degree in creative writing and is the author of the book, "Notes from the Beach." She has written the column Around Town for the Cape Gazette for twenty years. Her style is satirical and deals with all aspects of living in a resort area on Delmarva.
