LBGTQ support groups at Jewish Family Services start in August

Young people struggling to express their gender identity or to feel comfortable with that identity have to face unique social challenges, and so do their parents and loved ones.

To help youth and their parents navigate these complex matters, Jewish Family Services of Delaware has organized a pair of support programs, one for young people and the other for adults, called the Affirmation Project. Both programs meet online once a week, and there is no charge for participation.

“We’re covering a lot of stuff – LGBTQ history, the parents’ journey, how to support kids, holding family conversations, how to make connections with the child,” said James Buckley, one of the Affirmation Project group leaders.

“All the parents participating love and accept their children. It’s a fluid journey, trying to figure out what we’re doing more authentically,” said Rebecca McAdams, clinical supervisor of the group.

As with any new program, the start has been slow, McAdams said. As of late spring, there were six parents participating in the weekly sessions. She expects participation to increase steadily as awareness grows.

Programs like the ones JFS offers may become more prevalent as increasing numbers of individuals self-identify as members of marginalized communities, McAdams said.

In 2021, according to the Statista data platform, 7.4% of Delaware’s adult population identified as members of the LGBTQ community. Nationally, adults identifying as LGBTQ increased from 3.5% of the population in 2012 to 7.7% in 2023.

Participation in JFS’s Affirmation Project Parenting Group has helped Amie, whose child recently turned 14. She admits still stumbling occasionally over the use of preferred pronouns in talking about her child.

She said, “Over the past few years, they started expressing different views about gender and sexuality, about who they thought they were becoming. We’ve been listening, asking questions, trying to go slow.”

The support groups have a three-part curriculum, focusing on emotional support, education and history, and communication skills.

Amie has found the sessions informative, with the most helpful segments being the time the parents spend sharing concerns and experiences with each other. “We can all talk the talk, but walking the walk is the challenge. But with any group like this, you learn that you’re never alone. It’s a huge comfort to know there are others in a similar situation,” she said.

The coming-out process can start as early as age 6, but it could occur at 14, or even into one’s 30s, said Buckley. “I grew up in Delaware, in Kent County, and I’ve been out loudly for nine years, since I was a teenager,” he said.

When coming out begins depends on a variety of factors, he said, including the individual’s social network, the culture they’re growing up in and the safety of the support network that surrounds them.

“Most queer individuals want a place of love and support,” Buckley said. “Unconditional love and support are key.”

The Affirmation Project, like other JFS Delaware support group programs, is free of charge. JFS Delaware also offers fee-based individual therapy sessions, but financial assistance is often available for the uninsured or underinsured.

The next Affirmation Project 12-week support group is scheduled to begin in August.

For more information or to register, go to jfsdelaware.org or call 302-478-9411.