Resort dining is all about service, service and service

Last Saturday afternoon I had the pleasure of interviewing Tiffany Patterson from Goodwin Recruiting. She and her nationwide firm are professional “headhunters,” i.e., recruiters who search out and vet potential employees for placement at hotels, resorts and restaurants. Many local restaurateurs have found that leaving the interviews, callbacks, checking references, setting up appointments, etc., etc. to a professional frees them up to do what they do best - operate their restaurant and take care of their customers.

I was fascinated by the scope of what a professional recruiter does. They follow the new employee during the first few months of employment, and they even guarantee the new hire’s suitability for the job.

That got me thinking about the avalanche of emails I get every day from restaurant customers. Believe it or not, very few involve the food; almost all involve service - good, bad or indifferent.

Combined with my previous restaurant experience, those emails and texts have helped me to come up with 13 ways that servers can maximize their tips, make their restaurant look good, and keep their jobs. So here goes:

1. Always greet newcomers warmly. Don’t just make eye contact then look away. A little smile and a “Welcome!” make the guest feel noticed and a bit more willing to wait if you are busy.
2. Never wear perfume. Seventy-five percent of our taste sensation is through our nose. Speaking of noses, never reach across one guest to serve another. They didn’t come there to experience your armpit. Also, never eat or drink in view of the customers. Would you like it if you were sure that your server’s fingers had recently been in his/her mouth? Yuck.
3. Speaking of fingers, don’t carry drinks with your fingers on the rim of the glass! If your restaurant has bought into this straw uproar, you are giving your customers every reason to demand a straw. Handle wine glasses by the stems and silverware by the handles. And always eyeball a glass before you fill it. Waxy stuff like lipstick does not readily wash off.
4. Don’t serve a dish that looks wrong to you. If your chef huffs and puffs when you question a dish, that’s the manager or owner’s problem, not yours. On that note, if a person asks for more cheese, gravy or whatever, serve it in a side dish. Don’t pour stuff onto a guest’s plate.
5. If your restaurant sells bottled water, don’t sound desperate by saying, “Bottled water or ‘just’ tap?” Both are fine and everyone knows it. “‘Just’ tap” is pretentious. There are better ways to upsell.
6. Don’t race through the specials like you’re announcing the Kentucky Derby. It’s not an oration. Do it warmly in a businesslike manner.
7. Know your menu! Don’t answer a question with “I don’t know” without saying with a smile, “But I can find out for you.” 
8. Ninety-nine-point-nine-nine percent of restaurant food ordering programs allow you to tag an order with a seat number. If the restaurant doesn’t have a system for that, make up your own and stick to it. People hate food auctions and it makes you or your runner look incompetent. Similarly, if you choose to memorize orders and not write them down, be darn sure you do it well! I promise that your guests will be on the edge of their seats waiting for mistakes!
9. Never remove an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course.
10. Don’t answer a request with “No problem.” It smacks of insincerity. “It’s my pleasure” or “You’re welcome” works just fine.
11. If you spill or splatter, apologize sincerely then quietly clean it up, replace it, and offer to pay for whatever damage you caused. Don’t wipe wet spots on a guest!
12. Never expound on your personal eating habits. Nobody cares that you are a vegan, lactose intolerant or whatever. To this day I remember a server responding to my question about a particular dish by informing me that she was a vegetarian and “wouldn’t know.” Simply say, with a smile, “Well, a lot of our guests really enjoy that dish. Would you like to try it?”
13. Don’t suddenly get chatty and start smiling when it’s tip time. It’s annoyingly needy. In that same vein, if guests pay in cash, don’t ask if they need change. Just bring the change. Few people are willing to reward a transparently desperate attempt at getting an extra buck or two.

Smart restaurateurs know that their most unhappy customer can teach them more than all the happy ones combined. In a culinary destination such as this, service is king. Guests will forget that you brought cole slaw instead of green beans. But they won’t forget rude, careless or offhand service. Servers who act that way are hurting themselves and the restaurant that trusts them. They should give themselves - and their employers - a break and find another line of work.