Know the difference between failing and quitting

As a coach, I see athletes fail numerous times throughout the year, with workout goals and in races.  Seeing an athlete fail does not bother me. Seeing an athlete quit is what really upsets me.

Quitting is something you learn to do over time with inadequate goals or effort. Failing is something you learn from to be successful in the future.  Getting an athlete to understand the difference can help them gain confidence and become more accountable in the future, not only for sports but in life.

The impact of quitting goes way beyond sports.  Quitting really comes down to an individual’s inability to deal with stress.  Stress can be a positive thing; handling physical stress is the process of making the body stronger with physical activity.  Handling mental stress is the process of learning and gaining knowledge, and emotional stress allows individuals to become more stable and handle challenging situations.  

However, the amount of stress individuals can handle varies greatly from one person to another.  The main reason for this is we all have different life experiences, and many of those life experiences taught us either to quit or to fail.    

If you were fortunate enough to have parents who did not allow you quit something you started, you should give them a call and thank them, because they are probably parents who instilled a positive mental approach to stress.  

For others, it may have been a coach or a teacher who implanted a good work ethic and accountability.  If, from a young age, there is an understanding that once you commit to something, you work until it is complete, that takes away the stress of “Will I do it or not do it.” You know it will eventually be done.

How well it is done is another topic, and there will still be stress of failing, but that can be minimized the more success an individual has over time.  

Failing and quitting are completely different things.  Failing is putting a full effort into achieving a goal or task and coming up short, while quitting occurs when an individual chooses to stop a task or goal.  

An individual will never be successful in anything without failing.  Failing teaches you what not to do and what needs to be done. Failing helps fuel the internal drive to be better and not repeat a failed attempt.  

Quitting does none of that. Quitting teaches you to quit again and again because it is easy, and it will follow you in all aspects of your life.  

An inability to deal with physical stress normally translates into a failure to cope with emotional stress as well.  A person who shuts down when emotional stress is too high will have a hard time having successful relationships in life.  

Emotional stress can be better managed with focusing on what can be controlled and not worrying about what can’t be controlled.  If you are getting married at an outside venue, and you are an emotional a wreck a month before the event because you are worried it is going to rain, you are not an emotionally strong individual.  Individuals who are emotionally strong are able to comprehend they can’t control the weather, but they can make arrangements in case it does rain. Planning an alternate location out of the elements is something that can be controlled, a plan B or even a plan C.  Dwelling on the emotional stress of a situation that can’t be controlled does not do anyone any good.

A lack of emotional control also normally translates into an individual having difficulty coping with physical stress.  Some individuals are not able to handle stress and be productive. Many times that can be traced back to their developmental years, from adolescent to young adult.  With physical stress or activity, an individual who overreaches or is given too much of a workload for their body to handle will normally fail. An example of that would be someone who signs up to race a marathon but does no training for it.  That person’s body will not be able to be able to handle the workload of 26.2 miles without proper training, and the likely outcome will be not completing the race and quitting.

During the race that individual will have to deal with a great deal of physical discomfort.  Physical discomfort will lead to emotional discomfort or stress. It can be difficult to deal with emotions when muscles hurt or you are having a difficult time breathing.  I’ve seen runners completely break down and cry during a race because they were unable to handle the physical or emotional stress of the race or distance.

If an individual has a realistic goal or plan and is accountable to that plan, they are laying the groundwork to be successful.  Now they need to put in the effort, and that is where a lot of the stress comes from. Physical activity to improve one’s performance can be hard. It hurts at times, but is required to achieve your goals. So put the effort in every time.  Having an adequate plan that prevents you from overreaching can help deal with physical stress.

I believe failing is the process of success, while quitting is the lack of accountability, effort and knowledge.  Failing at a task or goal will teach you to be better, but quitting will teach you to quit at everything in your life.  If you can be accountable, always show effort, have a plan and not stress out about things you can’t control, you will learn to fail, and you will never quit at anything again.