The mass exodus has started, or it will shortly. This phenomenon appears slowly, as if no one would notice, like when a Mafia don hasn't been seen for a while. And then a lot of questions are asked.
Here at home, we know what has happened. When it comes to people leaving the area, we don't have to take the Omerta, the vow of silence. People are packing up and heading to warmer climates.
Suitcases are packed, RVs are loaded. And grandparents are strapped to the top of any moving vehicle.
The occupants will idle for hours, and that's in the driveway where fights over everything from the air-conditioning setting to the type of music will be settled peacefully with the game of rock, paper or scissors.
But with the beautiful weather we've experienced, it doesn't seem possible that time of year has arrived. Or that folks would pack up and leave.
The headlines in the local papers in the warmer climates are beckoning, though, with such inviting reading as "Giant boa constrictor breaks up Maj Jong game into full-blown riot," or "Twenty-foot alligator devours family of stuffed Dalmatians on vacation at Disney World." All right, that's more like it; who could resist?
Now, I'm all for heading south. If you are uncomfortable flying (and who isn't?), you can always take a car trip.
The one trip I took by car was very eye-opening. You get to see all the history and imagine what it was like years ago. At some point I passed miles of cotton fields on either side of the highway.
The thing about seeing cotton is you want to pull over and pick it. This is frowned upon by the local sheriff's department officers, not because it is illegal, although I suspect it is, but because the khaki polyester pants stretched across their thighs are so tight, the fabric threatens to pop like a zit when they have to get out of their police vehicle and tell you to move on.
The other observation was all the gas stations along the way that had only one gas pump. Was this the movie "Deliverance," or what? Now don't expect fast service when you pull in for a fill-up. First you have to find the attendant, who usually is the sheriff out on patrol in those tight khaki polyester pants, and then you have to explain why Delaware is not the capital of New Jersey and what you are doing on an American highway without an NRA sticker.
Of course you have to take an oath that you are not from New York City also. They've heard things. This takes some doing, with all the drug dealers and terrorists speeding past your stop. You have to hold your stomach in and lean into your car so they can get by, what with all the pit bulls and white powder hanging out their windows. It can be a fun trip, though, and you get to meet a lot of new people, like the lunatic in front of you at the local convenience store who is holding up the line because he doesn't believe he has to pay for his coffee since he is the pope and just here from the Vatican.
Personally, I like staying here for the winter. There is nothing like the smell of a flue that someone forgot to open or gloves roasting on an open heating vent. Bring it on - or not.
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Nancy Katz has a degree in creative writing and is the author of the book, "Notes from the Beach." She has written the column Around Town for the Cape Gazette for twenty years. Her style is satirical and deals with all aspects of living in a resort area on Delmarva.
