It seems like there isn’t a road not under construction in Sussex County or any other county on the Eastern Seaboard. The last couple of weeks, I’ve driven through so many construction zones around here, I actually qualified for my own union card and was able to buy a yellow construction hat at half price. If you have one of these items, you can drive right though most medians.
Last week I was on a major turnpike which has undergone a complete revamping project. This is a good thing, putting a lot of jobs on the forefront and making travel faster, which is our main goal - to get somewhere quickly.
The problem before wasn’t so much the condition of the road, but the sheer volume of cars causing such delays you couldn’t remember where your destination was, other than a sign with a restroom logo.
Now, the detours around the mazes still under construction can be a problem. In fact, I understand the different tribes, regions and policies in the Middle East better than I do the directions on how to get around a lot of the construction sites.
Mostly, these places look like replicas of a bombed-out province in a combat zone. If you follow the detour signs, you will eventually pass open-ended farmland, cows, noise barriers and possibly a communist country.
The signs rarely make sense because they often give the driver a choice, and most of us do poorly on multiple-choice tests.
Around here, I’m not sure what the official plan is. It’s close to tax season, so that may be why most residents don’t know what is going on; they are busy packing suitcases to leave the country for tax haven places like the Cayman Islands and Switzerland.
Personally, I’ve never seen so many orange cones except outside a hair salon convention promoting a new color called Orange Kiss. Either that or there are a lot of people trying out for the Secret Service.
The Secret Service has a long waiting list for applicants, so it’s a good idea to practice on these orange cones.
I did notice what appeared to be more sidewalks being built on Route 1. These will accommodate the two people that will use them during the summer.
Polls do show that most shoppers prefer to just race across four lanes of busy traffic, especially if they are pushing a baby carriage.
I know that DelDOT has been busy working major, major projects, and then there is the redoing of those same major, major projects that were miscalculated in the first place. It’s time consuming, no doubt.
In the meantime, a lot of county residents are on the phone trying to explain to DelDOT that there is a pothole the size of an aircraft carrier on their street and they can’t stay on the line too long because the water outside the drive is up to their knees and they are really frightened about something they read in high school about water and electrical shock.
It’s just that the standing water on the street has been there since Lord Baltimore wanted to annex colonial Delaware into Maryland but then changed his mind after a drone sent back photos of a great many colonists with wet pants flagging down DelDOT trucks.
Construction is serious business, and there is a short window of opportunity before tourists descend and road repairs, weather, detours and the lines at the coffee drive-through add to the problems.
Normally I would be in favor of the driverless car, but who would you be able to take your road rage out on? So, good luck this spring with your kidneys and bladder control.
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Nancy Katz has a degree in creative writing and is the author of the book, "Notes from the Beach." She has written the column Around Town for the Cape Gazette for twenty years. Her style is satirical and deals with all aspects of living in a resort area on Delmarva.
