Santa! Please check your spam box

Dear Santa:

Sometimes I think my emails to you are going into your spam box. I'm still wondering why last year's perfectly reasonable request for a Maserati went unheeded. Sheesh, I wasn't even picky about the color. But Santa, I'm nothing if not persistent, so here's my list for this year. It will give you a chance to use up all those Black Friday gift cards. 

In Rehoboth Beach, I would love the hamburger - with those onion frizzles - from Blackwall Hitch. I'll wash it down with bartender Pat Hurley's family-recipe eggnog martini. While you're in the neighborhood, the babaghanouj (and warm pita) from Semra's, the lamb vindaloo (extra hot!) and two orders of the onion naan from Indigo and a case of Pirate's Bite spice blend from Spice & Tea Exchange. Oh, and the Frito Pie from Dale & John's Cooter Brown's is conveniently upstairs from that amazing Thai lemongrass mint white balsamic at Olive Orchard Tasting Room. Ocean-block stocking stuffers can include a lobster roll from Mason's, that Chocolate Chiller from Makin' Whoopie Pies, Leo's frozen sangria at Modern Mixture and a double bacon cheeseburger (jalapenos, pickles and extra mustard, please) from Five Guys. (Just a small fries, though. I'm trying to cut back.) Oh, please don't forget Bryan's conch chowder from Conch Island, and two of Kilwins' Snapper turtles (one cashew, one pecan) - and a quart of that sublime salted caramel ice cream. 

No Christmas would be complete without one of Holly Lane's enchanted cosmos at Café Azafran (along with Rich Steele's equally enchanted haricots verts). And if JAM bistro still has chicken & waffles, I'll take that too. Any salad from DiFebo's would be perfect. (Can you throw in some of Lisa's pumpkin ravioli?) An assortment of Sunday brunch pastries from Blue Moon would be thoroughly appreciated, along with pretty much any cocktail from barkeep extraordinaire David Engel at a(MUSE.). And don't forget the lunchtime Crab Melt from Victoria's on the Boardwalk. 

Yolanda Pineda's tamales from Mariachi would also be a thoughtful gift, paired with the grilled octopus from Shorebreak Lodge. Lead Rudolph directly across the street to pick up a granny smith apple & brie burger from Zogg's and a four-piece chicken basket from Gus & Gus. Speaking of haricots verts, I'd love an order of the sautéed green beans and the spicy cold noodles from Chef Shawn Xiong at Confucius. Conveniently next door is 208 Social, home of Nate Leonard's famous sticky ribs and Andy Fabriziani's exotic cocktails. I'll take two orders - of both - please. Anything Salt Air does with salmon is automatically on my list, along with the lobster reuben and the clam chowder from Henlopen City Oyster House. 

The chicken parm at Lupo Italian Kitchen (with a side of those veal meatballs) would be a Christmas miracle along with the seafood eggrolls from Fins, the Three Amigos enchilada extravaganza from Dos Locos and a BLT on toast from Arena's. If the bar at Chesapeake & Maine is good enough for the James Beard Foundation, then it's good enough for me. I'll take the kegged Moscow mule - and pretty much anything on the Fish Frydays menu. Next door is the new Dogfish Head Brewings & Eats. Please snag me a couple orders of Chef Zach's mac & cheese with the little Buffalo wing surprises. If there's still room in that sleigh fridge, I would love the croque madame at Egg and the pancakes from Crystal. The turkey & gravy sandwich from Murph's is a must, along with a pound of Wreckless Abandon coffee from The Point's guru of bean himself, Sean Hixon. 

I will assume you will be approaching from the north, so I'll make things easy for you: The wood-fired alla sopressata pizza at Lewes' Touch of Italy. The burger from Kindle. The baked oatmeal from Olive & Oats. Those shortrib & cheddar sliders at Rose & Crown. Chris' fried oysters from Jerry's. Those meatballs with the surprise inside from Pig & Publican. ANY loaf of bread from Heirloom. A Gorilla Stick from Notting Hill. The happy hour kobe burger from The Buttery. Nate Griffith's crab poutine (with a whisper of Sambuca!) and two - count 'em, two - of Cheryl's crab cakes from the new Gilligan's. Raul's entire happy hour menu at Fish On. A Taylor Pork Roll/egg/cheese on a toasted sesame bagel from Surf Bagel. A chicken cheesesteak with extra pickles (add hot peppers on the grill, please) from Capriotti's. A kaiserschmarrn and a cold-brew latte from Kaisy's. That chicken salad sandwich from Crooked Hammock. A pizza fresh out of the fire at Mr. P's. Shrimp & grits from the new Big Oyster Brewery. Suki's Singapore Noodles (with extra curry) from Hing Wang Chinese carryout. 

The terminally cheesy Greek-style pizza from Alex Kotanides' Pat's Pizza, Don Allen's spicy fried oyster/shrimp combo at Beaches Seafood, Tom Kramer's turkey burger at Lefty's, the fried chicken & gravy - Matt Haley style - at Matt's Fish Camp, those pupusas from Cabañas, the lunchtime Codfather at Go Brit!, and a couple of orders of Pigs on the Wing from Bethany Blues. Oh, and a festive Bulleit Old Fashioned from Tommy Bunns and Sean Reick at the bar. 

Keep an eye on your instruments to follow Coastal Highway south. I will be needing an order of Tammy's black ravioli from 1776 Steakhouse in Midway. And Brenton Wallace's octopus from Crust & Craft. And a takeout container of La Tonalteca's salsa. And that pastry with the hotdog in it from Twice Baked. Sticking with the theme, the Delmarva Dog from Grandpa Mac. And of course the Hog Wings and fried pickles from Chef Ian at Pickled Pig Pub (with a snifter of Mad Elf alongside, please). 

An éclair from Rosenfeld's. The chicken pho and spring (summer) rolls from Thinh Pham at Minh's Bistro. Cheezy crab dip from Jake's. A thin & crispy pizza from Pete's Steak Shop. The Peacemaker (pass the Tabasco, please) from Fins Ale House. A Danger Dog from Billy's Taco Reho truck.

The Italian Sub from Mike and Sean at Casapulla's South. The Spicy Miso soup from Miyagi Ramen Bar. Anything that includes Lorraine's chicken salad at Palate. A slice - or two - of coconut cake from Jimmy's Grille, that chicken parm at Touch of Italy Rehoboth and Chef Sean Corea's fried chicken (...almost better than mine - I claim voter fraud) at Fork + Flask at Nage. 

May I also politely request three crispy tacos with chicken, cilantro rice, black beans, cheese, lettuce and red sauce from Chipotle, Chef Doug Ruley's ridiculously good ribs at Bluecoast Rehoboth, and a pound of peel 'n' eats from Big Fish Grill (extra horseradish)? 

You will see a canal. Cross overtop. Swoop down for a dozen on the half shell from Starboard Raw, the cheesesteak - wit' Whiz - from Starboard, the amazing-every-time french toast from Sunrise, Jimmy O'Conor's burger at Woody's and one of the new in-house brews from Gary, Adam and Holly's 38-75 mini-brewery at Gary's DBG. 

That should do it. I'll leave you some store-bought cookies and milk.