Debate moments offer much to be savored

I’ve never been what you’d call a connoisseur. I enjoy a good meal at a high-priced restaurant, but it’s hard to beat a peanut butter sandwich.

But I do enjoy lingering over the finer points of a political knife fight.

Here are two of the more deftly delivered thrusts from the fall’s surprise TV hit, the presidential debates.

On Wednesday night, Jeb Bush, eager to revive a flagging campaign, went after Marco Rubio, upbraiding him for not showing up for work at the Senate. He even used the term “French work week.”

In America, when a politician tosses the term “French” at an opponent he may as well be talking about their mom. It’s gotten ugly.

Alas, poor Bush went to the knife fight armed only with a plastic spork.

Rubio was ready. Heck, he was probably hoping for this attack from Bush.

Noting that Bush hadn’t complained about John McCain’s missed votes, Rubio said, “The only reason why you’re doing it now is because we’re running for the same position, and someone has convinced you that attacking me is going to help you.”

Now there’s a line to be savored.

It allowed him, of course, to avoid explaining why he missed votes. No matter how logical Rubio’s response, Bush would have scored a point.

(Not that it would have done him much good. With later pronouncements like “My campaign is not on life support” and “The end is not near,” Bush remains in the peculiar position of unfairly running up the score against himself.)

It’s that “someone has convinced you” part I relish. Reminds me of the old junior high taunt: “Who dressed you this morning?”

It’s a two-for-one putdown: You look ridiculous and you’re too dumb to dress yourself.

Rubio’s comeback worked the same way. “Someone has convinced you.” This translates as: “Your attack is pathetic, and you’re too weak to think for yourself.”

Just as remarkable was Rubio’s pivot from the takedown of his fellow Floridian, once described as friend and mentor.

He had just cut Bush dead, left him on the stage bleeding credibility and cash, and then Rubio - Saint Marco! With a face worthy of a cherub on an Italian Renaissance altarpiece - turned to the audience to deliver this gem:

“Here’s the bottom line … My campaign is going to be about the future of America, it’s not about attacking anyone else on this stage … I’m not running against Governor Bush.”

He had just attacked Bush. He had just said he was running against him.

Yet he delivered this whopper with wide-eyed sincerity. That’s the mark of a top-flight political pro.

Ted Cruz also proved himself a talented cutthroat.

One of the moderators, Carl Quintanilla, noted the recent compromise between Republicans and Democrats to keep the government running. He asked, “Does your opposition to it show you’re not the kind of problem-solver American voters want?”

Hardly an unfair question, given Cruz’s repeated threats to shut down the federal government if he didn’t get his way.

Cruz was having none of it. He blasted the moderators, saying the questions demonstrated why Americans don’t trust the media.

He then went down the line, repeating altered versions of the questions: “Marco Rubio, why don’t you resign? Jeb Bush, why have your numbers fallen?”

This was political legerdemain of the highest order. Cruz avoided the question asked him and then knifed all his opponents, leaving no fingerprints. Better yet, there wasn’t even a crime scene.

He was just defending his fellow Republicans, though somehow managing to remind the audience about the bad things said about them.

Perfection.

Then there’s Donald Trump. He occasionally resorts to the knife but he prefers to swing the hammer like the Mighty Thor, though with a less-flattering hair-do.

He quickly brought the hammer down on Becky Quick, who had the gall to make an accurate statement.

Quick (referring to a Trump comment about Rubio): I think you called him Mark Zuckerberg’s personal senator.

Trump: I never said that. I never said that.

Quick: So this is an erroneous article the whole way around? … My apologizes, I’m sorry.

Trump: Somebody’s doing some bad fact-checking.

As it turned out, someone was reading Trump’s own website, which did refer to Rubio as Zuckerberg’s personal senator.

But don’t worry about Rubio. In the end, his knife will win out over Trump’s hammer.

Don Flood is a former newspaper editor living near Lewes. He can be reached at floodpolitics@gmail.com.